November 29th, 2023

Apparently, this is me.  How embarassing!  I am the snorer!!!  Wow.  Seriously unattractive attribute.  No man ever said,  "My wife has beautiful blue eyes and the cutest snore."

I did not know this.  How could I know this?  It's not as if we hear ourselves when we are sleeping for heaven's sakes.  And of course, Tim is much too gallant to have ever mentioned it to me.  

This came up recently during a doctor visit.   Just my usual once a year visit with our General Practitioner.   He went over my lab results, they checked all the stuff they usual check and for the most part, everything looked good.   He then asked, as he always does, if I had noticed anything new.  This is the part where I usually say, "Nope, I'm all good"  and I make an appointment for the next year and go on my merry way.

This time however, I said, "yes. I notice that I am tired.  I mean seriously just so dang tired all of the time.  And even on days when I feel a little perkier, I wear out fast.  If I hike in the morning, I snooze in the afternoon. Yes,  I even take naps!  I means seriously! Naps!  Naps do not suit me."  He asked a few questions like....am I a good sleeper.  And that's easy. No. I am a terrible sleeper.  If you look up the word Insomniac in the dictionary, it's probably a picture of me.  BUT that's nothing new.  I have never been a good sleeper.

One of my earliest memories is of me  getting in trouble for NOT sleeping.  I wasn't not sleeping on purpose.  I just couldn't sleep. So I got really good, as a child, at playing possum.  Laying their quietly, thinking about things, pretending to be asleep so as to not get in trouble.

So the not sleeping part isn't unusual at all.  I made that part very clear.   The extreme fatigue......yeah, that part is different.

So then he asked me, very nonchalantly,  "do you snore"?  And for a second, I didn't respond at all.  I was shocked, surprised,  taken aback momentarily.  Then I said, 'How on earth would I know?"

To his credit he laughed and suggested that I ask  Tim.    So when I got home, I did just that.  And Tim said, Yes.  With not a seconds hesitation.  It was not accusatory or horrible or anything like that.  In fact, his tone was very conversational and ordinary.  "Would you like spaghetti for dinner? - yes"  That sort of a yes.  I was aghast!  I snore???  

My cheeks were on fire with humiliation.  I was horrified and said so.  Tim was quick to reassure me that it didn't bother him, he wasn't grossed out by it and it didn't keep him awake.  It was just something he noticed is all.  He reassured me but...wow...   I've never been a cute, dainty little girlygirl.  I was the big clodhopperish nerd who read endless piles of books, wore glasses and got a microscope and a globe for Christmas. But at least I didn't snore. No wait!  Yes I do.  Dang.

As my late Nana used to say, "Crap and two is eight"  Meaning, it is what it is what it is.  So what do I do about it?

In my case, my GP referred me to a pulmonologist.  Start there he said, and so I did.  The appointment was yesterday.  It was super quick, in and out.  "Do you sleep well?"  he asked.  "No" I answered, "but that's nothing new. I am a life long insomniac.  So why am I suddenly tired?  If I've always been a poor sleeper shouldn't I have always been tired?"

Somehow that very reasonable question (I thought anyway) got walked past and the Pulmonologist said, "You have sleep apnea."  I do?  News to me!    In case you are unfamiliar with the term:  Sleep Apnea is a sleep disorder where breathing is interrupted repeatedly during sleep. Characterized by loud snoring and episodes of stop breathing.  Oh My  God!  I stop breathing during the night?  That doesn't sound like a good idea!!!

Anyway, the plan is that once he gets permission from my insurance company, I am going to do some sort of sleep study.  It seems to involve downloading an app on my phone and me wearing a ring of sorts that will track my sleep (or in my case nonsleep) patterns.  I'll do that for a month.  

Then the doctor reviews all of the collected info from the study and then we move forward from there.

It'll be interesting. A different experience.  It's good to learn new things. Though I think I could have gone my entire life without knowing that I snore!   Trying to see the good here.  If it's true (and I'm honestly not yet convinced) that I do have sleep apnea and we can fix it, yeah, it might be nice to find out what a good nights sleep is like.

Meanwhile, I'm wishing you happy dreams and good sleep!