June 19th, 2023

Hurrah for Father's Day!   Hope all the Dad's in your life were well celebrated.  Neither Tim nor I have a father to celebrate on that day any longer, sadly.   But!  Tim is a Step-Father and that counts!  So I, for sure, wanted to make it a special day for him.

In our family, we kind of let the person being celebrated own the day.  It's all about them.  Whatever they want to do, wherever they want to go, they are in charge completely.  They dictate the foods, the activities, the tone of the day.  

Tim is a really easy going guy and he didn't care what he had for dinner or dessert.  He didn't have anything in particular in mind so I made grilled chicken burrito's and loaded them up with so much stuff!  Refried beans, spanish rice, sauteed onions and peppers, cheeses, avocado, shredded lettuce and, of course, the chicken. Top that off with hot sauce and you have a very filling meal!  Chocolate cupcakes with white icing for dessert.  He was happy with that!

As far as Father's Day Activities go, well, since it was up to him, he decided that there were a couple of things he wanted to get done that were weighing on him.  Just little housey things off the gotta-do list.  That's what he wanted to do and it was his choice entirely. So Ok!  And then, he just wanted a nice, relaxing, easy peasy, restful remainder of his day. Since it was a super rainy day, that worked out perfectly.  Watching TV, reading, playing a few games, maybe sneaking in a little nap too.   Rainy days are kind of automatically restful. We were well planted in the house for the day. In fact, the only time we left the house was in the morning.  We dashed out through the pouring rain to get donuts.  They were dang good too!

And there was the gift.  We don't usually do anything big for each other anymore.  Not for any traditional gift giving day.  At Christmas, we only exchange stockings, for birthdays it's usually something very small, flowers, candy, maybe a book.  So for Mother's Day or Father's Day, or any other remotely gift giving sort of day, we normally go even smaller.  Cards for sure and then maybe one other tiny thing.

This year however, on Mother's Day, Tim didn't just get me flowers, he gave me FLOWERS!  An enormous gorgeous lush bouquet packed with two of my favourites: Roses and Hydrangea.  It was in a lovely, huge vase and the fragrance filled the entire house for more than a week. Wow! He outdid himself.   This was not little fistful of carnations and freesia (which I also love, don't get me wrong) So I felt compelled to respond in kind and do something BIG for him as well.  And that's where I got stuck.

Here is a confession.  I'm not a very good gift giver.  I'm just not.  I don't know why.  It's not as if I'm terrible at it.  I've heard stories of people receiving old used out of date pantry items  as gifts!  Gosh I'm not that bad.  But I'm not great either.  Somehow I was just not blessed with the sort of creativity and genius that so many other people in my family have of choosing the exact perfect, thoughtful, inspired gift that stays in my memory and heart forever.  Dang it.

I've been the delighted recipient of many of those sorts of gifts and I so wish I could respond in kind.  For example, all of my kids are brilliant at gift giving.  Every gift I've ever gotten from my children is that thing I never knew I always wanted!   I do so wish I could do the same for them.  

It's not as if I don't care, I care!!! It's not as if I don't try!  I try, I try like crazy!   And I search and I shop and I wrack my brain 'til it about explodes  and still, either whatever I select is just okay. When I try to think of an idea on my own it ends up being  a kindly  'thank you very much' sort of gift because my children are very polite. But I can tell.  I can tell when I've missed the mark ...............again. 

When they were little, I would have them make up a wish list and then I would select three items off the list, one from Santa, one from their dad and one from me.  That way, they definitely received something they really wanted.  BUT it wasn't a surprise y'know?    Now that they are grown, at my request, they still send me wish lists, which I REALLY appreciate.  I select from that wish list, order it online and have it shipped directly.  They receive something they really need or want and there is nothing wrong with that, but again, it's not a surprise. It's not that thing that they do for me, the  thing they never knew they always wanted.  It's it makes me so sad that I cannot seem to do it back.

I am the same way with ever gift I give and it gives me such gift-giving anxiety!   ARGH!

So here I am trying to think of something extra special to do for Tim for Father's Day.  Not just the usual small thing where he already probably knows what it is.  I wanted to surprise him for once!  And I thought and I considered and puzzled for weeks and came up with nothin'.  I was resigned to picking up a usual boring thing until one night, as I watched him have a little snack of cheese and crackers and this word popped into my head:   Charcuterie.  Yes!  That is Tim. That is a perfect idea!  It's certainly different than any other idea for him I've ever had.

I did a little online research and found that 1) Wow!  Expensive!  2) not everything in a pre-made charcuterie package is something he would want and 3) $$$$$  holy crap!   At first  I was a little discouraged, and then it occurred to me that I could custom create  a Tim-centric charcuterie.  I spent some time searching and selecting thing locally, chortling with glee the entire time.   Finally I had enough stuff to call it good.

The trick now was hiding it until Father's Day.  The non-refridgerated stuff was easy.  The refridgerator stuff was a little trickier.  I ended up depending on the honour system.  That stuff went into a bag within a bag within a bag, at the back of the fridge with two giant notes on it saying, "DO NOT TOUCH"  with multiple exclamation points.  

He was good and did not touch.  But he did wonder :)

In the end, he was indeed surprised and pleased with his charcuterie bowl (I presented it in a pasta serving bowl).  Let's call it a charcuTIMerie.  heh   It pleased me so much to finally, finally, FINALLY come up with an idea on my own that was a good one.  A gift that he did not expect, totally deserved and was a happy surprise!

(Late yesterday and early this morning I thought of multiple other things I could have added, but of course afterward the fact. Not when it would have been useful.  (sigh) My brain is so strange.)

​Anyway, here is what I put together:

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This was, the one and only time, in my entire gift giving life, that I pulled this off so don't get your hopes up people.  This was a fluke.  It's like putting an infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards and assuming that eventually one of them will present Shakespeare.  

I will always give gifts and I, hopefully, give decent ones.  But not creative, wonderful, inspired gifts. The gifts that my loved ones deserve and I wish I was capable of providing.  Still,  this one time, I did do it. 

Hope your Father's Day was wonderful for you and the Father's and father figures in your life!  (and that you are a better gift giver than I am!)