July 15th, 2020

It was such a teensy speck against the white of the tub and it was so dang early in the morning that I'm surprised I even noticed.  The fact that I was barely conscious as I peeped out of sleepy eyes slitted against the bright light should have factored in as well.  But despite all of that, I saw it.  I noticed that speck of dark in what should have been an expanse of white porcelain the instant I looked in the direction of the tub.

It was only just  5:30 am but I woke up this morning in that way that clearly states that no matter how ridiculous it is to get up at that hour for no damned good reason, my body was not going to cooperate and fall back to sleep.  So I rolled out of bed and shuffled toward the bathroom with thoughts of a long hot shower in my foggy brain.

I did what I always do.  I stepped into the bathroom and shut the door before turning on the light so as to not wake Tim.   I  hung up my robe and took one step toward the tub when the dark speck in question became apparent to me.  Full Stop.  What the heck is that?

I blinked several times thinking perhaps it was one of those rascally floaters in my eye but no, the speck remained.  Cautiously I approached. Dang.  It was a spider.  And not a teensy one either. I was now fully awake.  Completely totally entirely wide awake.  Double Dang.  I turned off the light, opened the door and got my phone, returned and did the reverse, hoping that the spider had, in the interim had the good sense to leave.  It did not.

So I took several photos, cautiously of course and debated my next course of action.  

I could squash the spider I suppose. But honestly, I have nothing inherently against spiders.  I know they do an important job eating other more pesky bugs that I also do not want in my tub or anywhere else for that matter.  And I also know that the odds of this particular spider hurting me in some way are exceedingly low.  This arachnid is just trying to live his little spidery life and I respect that.  I just don't want him living that life in my bathtub.

Second option was to try to remove him from the tub and release him (or her) once again into the wild.  The question was, how to do that most effectively. I considered trying the paper and cup method which I have seen other people do with great success but I have never managed it properly myself.  I could try to gently surround it with a paper towel and ever so carefully pick him up and deposit it outside but I was honestly concerned that I might inadvertently injure the poor thing.  

I chose option three which was to go into the family room and play games on my phone for a half hour and then return to see if it was still there.  As it turns out, that particular spider could take a hint and was nowhere in sight when I returned.

Still there was that lingering after taste so to speak. Before I even considered getting into the tub which, lets face it leaves one in a very vulnerable position, I scouted the bathroom.  I looked behind things and under things. I checked corners high and low.  There was no sign of the spider or anything else that didn't belong.  Not so much as a dust bunny (I do clean the bathroom several times a week after all)

Even so, the entire time I was showering I was keeping a half an eye out for that little 8 legged wee beastie.  I was fully prepared to to jump out of the tum or scream or well I have no idea what I thought I was going to do if it showed it's face, but I was ready.  Let's face it, knowing me, if I was in the shower and saw the spider, I would most likely have been startled and jumped a tiny bit, which means I also would have slipped on the wet surface and grabbed at the shower curtain to steady myself which would have torn down the shower curtain and potentially the rod as well. Sigh.  Let's just agree that it was not a relaxing shower.  Or a long lingering shower either. It was, in fact, it was a super quick one. 

I never saw that spider before and hopefully I will not see it again. But the question remains, where the heck is it now?  Where did it come from? Where did it go?

My house is fairly clean. I clean a little bit every day.  I do a big clean once each week.  I even get down low and clean baseboards now and again.  I get that long wand attachment thingie for the vacuum cleaner to get into corners and under beds and dressers. Periodically I take everything off of the closet floor and clean closet floors.  I'm crazy enough to even wipe down the inside of cabinets every so often as the mood strikes me.  So I'm baffled by this spider's existence in my house.

I think for my own sanity, I am going to choose to believe that this was a Star Trek spider and he was accidentally transported into our bathtub by mistake.  When he realized his error, he whipped out his little spidery communicator and said, "Scottie, one to beam up" and was then teleported right back out.  

Whew!  I feel so much better now.  Glad we cleared that up!

​