July 14th, 2023

I'm sure you've already realized this, but just in case you have not, isn't this kind of a cool similarity?  

On the left is a pretty painting of mountain peaks with the river valley between them and on the right are the peaks and valleys of a heartbeat as shown on a heart monitor print out.  Peaks and Valleys, Peaks and Valleys, yup that's life!

And it's perfectly normal and expected to have those sorts of highs and lows throughout your life.  Good times and Bad,  Happiness and Sadness, Joy and Sorrow, Delight and Anger and then all of the regular normal ordinary days in between.

Here is the thing I am slowly realizing about myself.  The older I get, the more I do not like the extremes.  The high highs and the low lows are no longer desirable. They are uncool, as we used to say back in the day.  I no longer have any interest in personal theatrics.  Perhaps it's more that I no longer have the energy required for them.  

In short, I no longer find any enjoyment in the "Verys" of life.  Very sad, Very angry, Very annoyed, Very anything, even the good Very's just wear me out.  Very Happy! Very Excited ! Very Silly!  I'm exhausted just typing the words.

On the other hand, ordinary happy, excited or silly is still great.  Regular sad, angry or annoyed is, well not great because those are negative words, but hey, stuff happens in life so there is going to be some of it and I can deal just fine with a standard amount of the bad stuff.

It applies to everything in my life nowadays, not just  emotions.  I am no longer easy going about extreme weather.  You know what I'm talking about,  the Very Hot and  Very Cold times of year are just less easily tolerated by me now.  The super hot and humid days just lay me flat.  When I spend any significant amount of time outside in the middle of August, I'm going to have to have a little rest before I move on to anything else once I've returned to the safety of the Air Conditioned indoors.  I used to be so blasé about it!   And on those few super chilly, hovering around the freezing mark days at the pinnacle of winter, I'm bundled up and drinking hot things and cuddled under sofa blankets, teeth chattering and shivering.  Once upon a time, I just wore long pants and a sweater and I was good to go.   I'm concerned that as I get even older I will continue along this vein until I'm one of those annoying old ladies who keeps her house thermostat at 80 year 'round while also wearing two sweaters and heavy socks and complaining about how cold I am. That's terrifying.

I find myself eschewing foods that are too spicy,  too hot, too bland (but then who likes that?) or even too cold.  Brain freeze anyone?  I was always kind of picky about food, lately I'm pickier than even me.  AND if I don't like it, I will not eat it.  I won't make a big deal out of it, but you cannot compel me through any means to eat something I am not enjoying.

I don't like clothes that are too tight or actually that really touch me much at all and I avoid shoes that are very tall which means any sort of heel at all really.  The shoe thing is not because I don't like the way it looks or feels but because at this point I'm kind of concerned that I may fall off or out of them!  It's a reasonable concern.

Which kind of leads into buying anything I consider "Very" expensive and currently that's almost anything.  The cost of everything is kind of outrageous and feel outraged is a "very" emotion that I am just not in the mood for so unless it is something absolutely essential (and few things are) frankly I would rather not have something than spend a Very large amount of money on it.

I avoid buying or selecting anything that I deem Very trendy because that means at some point I will have to replace it or risk looking Very Out of Date and Out of Style.   Although, as time passes, I'm not sure how much I care about either of those things either.

I avoid places that are Very crowded or Very noisy whenever possible and I'm uncomfortable when roads are Very busy and cars are going Very fast.  Of course it's my interpretation of what constitutes the "very" element of all of these things.

What I find myself gravitating toward is level, average, ordinary, normal, perhaps even boring and dull.  I shoot for the middle.  Drama does not suit me, take it elsewhere please.  Pleasant is good and nice is delightful.  I am easily amused, happy to be content and what's more, I make no apologies for it.  I dear that I  am becoming increasingly boring and yet fear is a "Very" emotion and therefore, I dismiss it out of hand.

My peaks and valleys  are looking more and more like a croquet field now.  And it's all good.

You go ahead an have whatever sort of weekend you like.  Mine will be perfectly fine.