July 03rd, 2019
A snake skin and a pair of slippers. Hmmm. What? Has she completely lost her mind? See, I can hear you thinking. What possible relationship do these two things have? Well I'll tell ya.
First of all the snakes skin. I found that when I took out a bag of garbage the other night. It was sitting there on the concrete just outside the utility room door. And honestly my first thought was, "Somewhere nearby is a naked snake". I'm not lying. That was the first thing that popped into my head.
I have seen a snake at the back of the yard twice now. But apparently I am terrifying to snakes because the instant that it sees me it heads for the hills. Well there are no hills in Florida so I suppose it heads for....the bushes or the fence or the neighbors yard. The thing is, this snake is fast. I have never in my life seen a snake move so quickly. It's a blur. I couldn't tell you anything about what it looks like other than, it is clearly a snake, moving away from me, rapidly apace. I am assuming that this leftover skin used to belong to that snake.
Maybe I am just choosing to assume that as opposed to believing that there is more than one snake in the vicinity. I'm not truly afraid of snakes. I'm not. When I see one I do not scream or run or attempt to kill it. But I also do not engage. Do NOT engage. While I don't hate them and I'm not afraid of them, I don't especially like them either. I know they serve an important purpose keeping the rodent population down. Good! That is a good thing. But let's face it. Snakes are creepy.
They move but they have no legs. I find that creepy in the extreme. It's just....wrong...somehow. And since this particular snake outgrew it's skin, we now know that not only do we have one, it has been known to be right outside the utility room door and it is now bigger than it was before. Three things I am not especially overjoyed about knowing.
The slippers well, I've had them for at least ten years. I spied them walking through either Kohl's or Target, I forget which, on a lunch break from work one day. I had no intention of buying anything at all really. I was just walking around, killing time. But then I saw those slilppers (which were obviously on sale or I wouldn't own them) and went Wow! So unlike anything else I've ever bought. Fuschia Pink suede moccasins with a fake fur leopard lining. Come on! How perfect are they? I suspect I was having a moment where I was annoyed at myself for always being so doggone practical. I didn't even own any slippers. I just wore shoes until bedtime. I needed slippers right? On a chilly Colorado evening, how nice to take off the heels after work and step into some fuzzy and dang cute slippers instead. See? I had to buy them?
And while we lived in Colorado I wore them too. Almost every evening, especially fall and winter but a little bit of spring too. Colorado has some chilly spring evenings. And I loveloveloveloved them. They were pretty worn out but I couldn't part with them so when we moved here, I tossed them into the suitcase along with all the other shoes. And then promptly forgot about them because I have never once needed them here. Not One Time.
Then right around the same time as I found the snake skin it happened to be a day when I was in a mood to....Purge..as my friend, Lori calls it. As such I was evaluating the contents of the floor of my closet, which is where all of my footwear resides. Way, way back in a dark corner of the closet floor were these slippers. Aha! Something to toss. "Well old friends" sez I, I sez, "it's time for you to go" and surprisingly without a moments remorse, there they went into the garbage. I can't believe that I didn't care one bit.
Are you seeing the links now? I threw the slippers into the garbage. I found the snake skin while taking out the garbage. I wore the slippers on my feet. Snakes have no feet. Snakes are animals (well reptiles but I'm using the term very loosely) and the slippers had a fake leopard lining which is definitely an animal.
Yeah, that's how my demented little mind works. Those links make perfect sense to me. A little scary isn't it.
Welcome to my world ;)
Tomorrow is a holiday so I won't be here. Enjoy your Independence Day! Be safe and Have fun! I'll be back on Friday. See you then!
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Yup, this is me. Some people said, "Sam, you should write a Blog". "Well, there's a thought", I thought to myself. And so here it is.