January 31st, 2020

Most of you know what this is.  The game 'Candy Crush'.  I have it both on my computer and my phone. I didn't request it, the game was already there. I don't play obsessively, but I do play it. Usually when I'm not sleeping in the middle of the night, or when I'm waiting for something.  And for the most part, it's kind of fun.

The graphics are adorable and it appears to be silly and funny and cutecutecute.  The description says that it is loads of fun and easy peasy to play, which is true enough. What it doesn't tell you is that it is also maddening!

When I tap the tile on my phone to make it come up, the first thing I see is the cartoonish background and the following words: "Swipe, Match, Relax"  That's what it says.

The swipe part is true.  That how it works. Match, yup also true. I swipe to make matches.  But relax?  I am anything but relaxed!  I want to win this doggone level which means I have to be thinking, planning, plotting at all times.  In fact, I am anything but relaxed when I am playing this game.  

And to make is more insidious, some of the levels of this game are time sensitive. So it's not only thinking, planning and plotting but making split second decisions.  QuickQuickQuick!  Do it! Make the match. Find a way to get that piece over by this piece and make the match before it times out, hurryhurryhurry........awww dang it.  I was so close.  

Not relaxing.

That is the most ridiculous statement a game every made. Relaxing indeed.

On the other hand, it's not as if the fate of the world hinges on whether or not I pass another level.  I can take weeks to move on to the next level if I have to. I can. It's ok.  Nobody cares.  Nobody cares except me!!  I want to move on. I want to win this dratted level. I want to win the prize that moves me forward and.....

Calm down Sam.  Geez.  It's not like I am being graded after all.  Nobody sees my scores but me.  Nobody else knows of my successes and my failures except me.........and the bot that monitors the game. Oh dang!  The bot knows how bad I am at this.  And who does the bot tell?  Oh my goodness.  Is this somewhere deep in their data banks?  Are folks who make this game sitting and giggling about how long it took me to move from level 510 to level 511?  

Oh for heaven's sakes. How self-centered can one person be?  Zillions of people play this game every day. Nobody is paying attention to how bad I am at it.  Nobody is paying attention. Nobody cares.

Well I care.  Sometimes I get really annoyed with how bad I am at strategy.  And how totally NOT relaxed I am while I am playing this game.  But who cares? It's not important at all.

Family?  That's important.  Health. Also important.  Friends...important.  A silly game?  Not important. Not important at all.

The thing is, I'm cheap. We all already know this about me.  I refuse to pay to play.  So I am playing at a distinct disadvantage.  I'm playing with skill alone. None of the extras.  The little pieces that will wipe out an entire block of candies or blow up the whole game so that all the bad pieces are gone and only the good ones remain.  Nope I refuse, flatly refuse to do that.   

So I keep playing the free game and sometimes I can knock out 8 or 10 levels in one sitting. Other times, weeks go by and I'm stuck playing the same level over and over AND OVER and then I swear that I'm giving up, that I'm not going to play anymore Ever Again!

And sometimes I really do stop playing for along time.  Days, weeks even months can pass. And then one night, when I simply cannot sleep, and there is nothing on TV and I've read all the books in the house already, I'll pick it up and tap the tile and up pops the jolly, happy, adorable little Candy Crush characters and I've forgotten how annoying it can be.

I play that level that I was stuck on for so long and Bingo..I win it right off the bat.  Yay!  How much fun was that!  Woohoo!  And I'll play level after level until I get stuck again and then Grrrrrrr.  Not relaxed. Sooooo very not relaxed.

It's insidious.

In spite of that, Have a Great Weekend!  And unlike me playing Candy Crush, relax!