January 25th, 2018

Periodically, for no reason that I can determine, I feel the need to re-invent myself.  It always starts out the same way. Life is rolling along just fine, I don't really notice my physical being any more than absolutely necessary. You know what I mean, when I'm putting on mascara I am seeing my eyelashes, when I'm brushing my teeth, I see my teeth but otherwise, I don't pay any attention to me.  I'm just going about my life doing what I do and thinking about other, far more important things.

​Then out of the blue one day I notice perhaps that my fingernails are too long. Or my pants are too tight. And it's funny how all of a sudden one day it's apparent to me.  Oh I go ahead and lose a couple of pounds, just for comforts sake and I trim and reshape my nails so that I don't accidentally impale myself or anyone else but it isn't as though the problem  popped up overnight.  I didn't gain those extra couple of Elle Bee's while I was sleeping, no it happened over the course of days, or more probably weeks.  Same with my finger nails.  They didn't sprout over night. I just didn't notice until all of a sudden, I did.

​Same thing happens with my hair.  I'm perfectly  happy with it.  I pay no attention to it.  I wash it, dry it and that is about the end of it on a daily basis.  I obviously am not looking in a mirror while washing it and often not even while I'm drying it. So it could look great, it could look awful. I have no idea. Until all of a sudden one day, I notice.  I started to notice a few weeks ago that my bangs were getting too long again.  I could feel them when I blinked.   My usual response to bangs being too long is to change the part in my hair so that the bangs sweep to the side.  If they get really long, I usually clip them to one side just until my next scheduled hair appointment.  No big deal.

​This time, I also noticed that the colour was getting, kind of, well, bright?  I've been colouring my hair for years. Or at least my various hair dressers over the years have been doing it for me.  And the colour has changed a zillion times.  I've been auburn, strawberry blonde, full on deep brunette and every shade of blonde you can imagine.  It has gotten to the point where I have no idea what my actual hair colour is.  I do it because it's fun.  That's all.  No deep psychological meaning behind this desire to change my hair colour. I just enjoy colouring on this particular canvas.  

​It's something I can do, easily, to satisfy my innate desire for change.  Some people are resistant to change. I enjoy it.  I like shaking things up a little bit now and again.  In another time of history, I might have been an explorer, always seeking new vistas.  In this point in time and space however, I am happy where I am geographically, so my desire for change has to be satisfied another way. And hair colour just a different way to do it.

​My stylist and I talked at length.  I kind of like being surprised.  She was concerned that I would blame her if I didn't like a change that I didn't orchestrate.  We compromised.  It took some time to find the middle ground but finally, for now at least, it's done.  Occasionally a person needs to get back to their roots, so to speak.  So that was our jumping off point.  Will this be the final version of me?  I can almost guarantee you 100% that it is not.  I'm absolutely positive that the colour will change again. And again. And again.  For now, I'm satisfied.  

​I think currently, my hair colour is closer to what my actual hair looks like.  But of course I cannot be sure.  You can decide for yourself what you prefer.  

I took the photo on the left a week or so ago.  Very blonde with a little copper in it.  The one on the right I took yesterday as soon as I got home from my appointment.  No red in it at all, just a little bit of blonde highlights in kind of medium brown hair. Hmmmm.  It's different for sure. Now to be fair, one picture was taken outside in natural light, one was taken inside with house lights so there is that different immediately.  But otherwise, what do you think?  Do you have a preference?

​I remain undecided.  I wanted a change and it is definitely a change.  Not certain how I feel about the results (not my hairdressers fault at all. Totally on me)  But I'm happy that I made the jump to try something new.  The only thing I am positive about is that, it will change again.