Have you ever heard that saying about how people who've been together a long time start to resemble each other? Hmmmm, It's not as if I can grow a beard to look more like him but the expressions on our faces in those photos are frightening similar. While a lot of "old sayings" are sheer balderdash, there might be something to this one.
It makes sense. There have to be some similarities between two individuals that draw them together to begin with. So there is some degree of inherent similitude in any couple. Over time, and when you think about it, it's a long time, it's only natural for some of each other's quirks to be adopted by the other. Oh come on, you know that it's true. Have you ever had a friend who had an unusual phrase or word that they used a lot and then one day you hear that word come out of your own mouth? It happens parent to child too. Can you honestly tell me that you never ever heard yourself repeat something that Mother or Father used to say? (if you tell me "No" I will know you for the liar you are)
Tim and I have been married for 24 years. That is 8,760 days for anyone who is counting. Or 210,240 hours. Or 12,614,400 minutes. Holy Cats! How could we not impact each other in that amount of time together? It's inescapable.
While not everything we do, say or think is exactly the same as the other (how boring would that be!!) it is not at all unusual for us to share the same idea, like thinking that the family room needs to be repainted or be in the mood for the same kind of food when it's a night out for dinner. Still we reached a whole new level on our anniversary this past December.
Part of our anniversary tradition is to always give each other two cards, one funny and one serious. We have done that from the very beginning, without discussing it beforehand. Our first anniversary, we sat down to dinner in a restaurant, we placed our order and then I handed him two cards from my purse and he grinned and plucked two cards for me from the inner pocket of his jacket. We have done it every since.
I always put the cards out for display for awhile. As we have moved from place to place, where I set the cards out changes but walking through the house and seeing them sitting there always makes me smile. The only difference here is that it was hard to find a place to keep the cards until this past December.
You see here part of the living room with bookshelves flanking the entrance to the family room. I put little tiny Command Strip hooks on the outer edges of the book shelves and strung ribbon between them. At Christmas time I hung Christmas cards there. Now it holds only our anniversary cards. If you look really closely you will see two pink cards, one on either side.
On the left side are the cards Tim gave me, on the right the cards I gave Tim. Clearly, those pink cards are identical! Hysterical! We actually picked the exact same card to give to each other! We giggled about that for the longest time.
We actually put a lot of thought into our card selections. There is always a reason a particular card is chosen. As is the case with this pink card. The front reads: Because you know me inside and out, the good and the bad, and you still love me, I have just one thing to say..." The inside of the card says, 'What is wrong with you?" HAHAHAHAHA
Amusing, to us anyway, is the story behind it. Way back when Tim and I were dating, I was a lot less confident about myself. I was very insecure and had sadly low self esteem. I was always sure that any day it would be over. He would break up with me and that would be that and I would then be alone forever. I was sure it would happen. But it didn't. He stuck around. And then one day we had a argument. It was a big one too. He was very annoyed with me and I was equally annoyed with him. He left angry and I was, again, certain it was over. But the next day he came back and I was shocked. He walked in the door smiling as if the disagreement had never happened.
The conversation went something like this. I said, 'You're back!" and looked as shocked as I felt. (I have never had a poker face) He said, "Of course I'm back. Why wouldn't I be back?" I stuttered something about, "That fight yesterday. That was horrible. You were so angry" He nodded, "Yes I was. But I'm not angry now. And even if I was I would come back." Stunned I repeated his words back to him, " You would come back? Even though I said such mean things?" He was surprised that I was surprised, "Of course I came back, I love you". I starred at him for the longest time and then the following words burst out of me, "What is wrong with you?" It was a huge turning point in our relationship. Someone loved me enough to continue to love me even though we didn't always see eye to eye, even though I said horrible things that I didn't really mean, even though I was a neurotic mess! It was a shocker for me.
I can't believe we found a card that said those exact words. And more, I am surprised that we both remembered that I said those words all those years ago. And then we gave each other the same card?? Too funny. Teehee!
Sure it's intended to be an amusing card, and it is. But it's also an important place marker for a huge milestone in our relationship. They day I realized that someone could love me no matter what and that we would be together forever. Awwwwww.
Come to think of it, it also brings to mind another old saying that my Nana was very fond of, "Great Minds Think Alike". And over time, I guess, we think even more alike than we realized. Kind cool.
Yup, this is me. Some people said, "Sam, you should write a Blog". "Well, there's a thought", I thought to myself. And so here it is.