Yeah, this is me, not sleeping which seems to be mostly what I do at night. Isn't that fun?
I know it's not uncommon for people to occasionally experience insomnia but for me, it's a way of life. Even as a small child I was not a good sleeper. I don't know why. Perhaps that's just the way my brain is wired. Usually it's not big deal. I don't require a great deal of sleep to be functional. But I do need some. I know that there will be a point, somewhere along the line, where I will sleep. Everything will just click off. My brain will say, "Tilt!" and nappytime will happen. Those are glorious nights.
Last night was not one of those glorious nights.
It was an ordinary day. I was busy in the morning and then my sister came to get me and we went on a nice photo safari. When we got home, I puttered around doing laundry, yard work and other housey sort of chores. Eventually, I made Tim's dinner, cleaned up from that, did a few other things and around 8:30 or so finally settled in to relax a little, watch a little TV. After an hour or so, I decided there was nothing worth my eyesight on television and thought a good soak in the tub with something to read was a better idea. Ahhhh. Relaxing. Then into jammies, a little more TV and around 10:30 or 11:00 we went to bed. Tim was catching Z's in no time flat. I lay awake in the darkness allowing my brain to wander, hoping that eventually I will bore myself to sleep.
I have a list of little brain games that I play trying to lull myself to snoozeland. Sometimes it's listing all the states in alphabetical order. Maybe all of the presidents in their presidential order. Or coming up with 5 girls names and 5 boys names for each letter of the alphabet. Things like that. Problem is, my brain wanders. It's like a butterfly. No straight lines of thought .....ever. It goes something like this:
Me: Okay. states...First state, Alabama. Oh that's the name of a band. What's the name of that song they do that I like so much? Dang. Can't think of it. What state was I saying? Oh yeah, Alabama. Remember that time Tim and I were in New Orleans and we drove to Alabama for lunch? We ate at that cute little place where the food was just so so but the people were really nice. It was a real throwback in time. Kind of like the 50's. Yeah. The 50's. Marty McFly. Back to the Future. That was one of my favourite movie series'. Of course the first one was the best one, but I liked all three. And the music! Yeah, 50's music was so much fun. Rock Around the Clock. Happy Days. That Ron Howard. Who knew that he would become such an amazing director? Well other than him of course. And The Fonz. Henry Winkler's career just kept going too. I know he's done some production work, I wonder if he did any directing? Directing. Giving Directions. Getting Directions. It's funny how without the mountains to my West I never know what direction I'm going in anymore. I mean the beach is to my West. I should use that to orient myself. Orientation. College orientation. That was a long time ago. Why am I thinking about college orientation.? What state was I on? Oh yeah. Alabama. Second state: Alaska. All the photos I've ever seen of Alaska are so beautiful. I would like to see it in person some day. Some day. Isn't that a song? What state am I on? Oh yeah. Alaska. They are big on Salmon, I don't care for fish or fishing come to think of it. I think they do a lot of it there. And hunting. Not a hunter either. I don't want to think about hunting. It makes me too sad. Alaska. Right. After Alaska is Arizona. That was definitely a song. Paul Revere and the Raiders sang it. I remember seeing them in concert a million or so years ago. My very first 'rock' concert. Rocks. Redrocks. Now there was an amphitheater. So gorgeous. I wonder whose idea that was? Brilliant. And the hiking around there is amazing too. I have some really nice photos that I took there. I wonder where I put them? I'll have to find those. Finding things. There was something else I was going to look for. I wonder what it was? I need to start writing these things down. I need to put paper and pen on my bedside table. Something else to remember to write down so I don't forget it. That's funny. I have to remember to write down the paper and pen I need to help me remember things! hahah. What state am I on? Oh yeah, Arizona. What's next? Arkansas. Never been to Arkansas that I recall. Hmm. Have I?
Yeah, like that. My brain is a scary place.
Sometimes making lists helps. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes when it doesn't I get so restless that I get up. I will wander out to the family room. Sometimes I"ll read for awhile. Sometimes I'll play games on my tablet. Or maybe watch some TV. Late night TV is strange. Lots of old reruns and truly strange shows. And infomercials. Those are ridiculous. No thank you. Occasionally I'll go sit outside in our courtyard and just stare at the stars in the sky and think about that for awhile.
When it works, it works. When it doesn't, it doesn't and I do not seem to have a bit of control over it. I read a marginally scary article recently that suggests a link between insomnia and dementia. Hmmm. Well, Hmmm. It's not like I can force myself to sleep. If that worked, I'd be very well rested. Oh well. I think I need to stop reading that stuff. It's not helping one bit.
Melatonin was suggested to me at one point and it, occasionally works. Or perhaps that was just a night my body was going to sleep anyway. I don't want to resort to medicated sleep, but I'm open to other suggestions if anyone has any. I already Do Not Eat after 7 pm. And do not exercise late at night but I do get exercise. Walking, biking, hiking and two pilates classes a week. And I don't drink either so that's not it.
If you have an brilliant suggestions do please share. Meanwhile, The state after Arkansas is California, Martin Van Buren was the 8th president, 5 boys names that start with the letter "i' are: Ivan, Isaac, Ira, Irving and Ignatius and none of that helped last night one damned bit. Oh well. Maybe tonight.
Yup, this is me. Some people said, "Sam, you should write a Blog". "Well, there's a thought", I thought to myself. And so here it is.