August 07th, 2017
There is a wormhole in my bedroom. I don't know how it got there. I'm not even certain when it arrived, but that doesn't change the fact that there is a phenomenon of astronomical proportion in my bedroom. It's somewhere in the space between my bed and my bedside table.
I came to know about this wormhole on Friday. Once I was showered and dressed and getting ready to face my day, I finished, as I always do, by selecting the earrings I was going to wear that day. Sometimes I know exactly which ones I want before I look, other times, as on Friday, I need to peruse the contents of the jewelry box to decide.
I say jewelry box. In all actuality the " jewelry box" that hold my earrings is two plastic organizer boxes. I bought them at a craft store. It is intended for people who make jewelry to keep their tiny bits and pieces all organized which of course just sings to my tidy little heart. Prior to this I kept all the earrings together in one larger ordinary box and looking for matching sets was maddening. Now I have no more than three pair in each little compartment. It's perfect.
These two boxes live with all the rest of my jewelry in my bedside table in the middle drawer. We bought these specific night tables because of their drawers. There are three in each table all of generous porportion. Awesome. The top drawer holds things like hair brushes, my good scissors, nail files and other life flotsam. As I just indicated, the second drawer holds jewelry boxes. Two for earrings, two for bracelets, one for rings and so forth. The bottom drawer has only a second set of sheets, clean and folded awaiting the Monday ritual of the changing of the bedsheets.
I'll set the scene. I opened the second drawer and here was my big mistake. I attempted to lift out both earring boxes at once. I don't know what possessed me, I know better. I have small hands. In fact I have small arthritic hands so lifting out two boxes at once, even though they aren't heavy, was never going to work. Worse, I didn't close the lid on either box. As soon as I attempted to lift both boxes it all went ishkabibble. Or in the words of my old Nana, "ass over teakettle" PIcturesque speech. Earrings everywhere.
After the initial moment of shock passed, I begin the clean up. I found earrings in the open drawer, in the bed, on the floor, under the night table and under the bed. I sorted through it all making sure I had all the bits and pieces and my eye went directly to one lone silver earring. Dang. I checked again in the immediate area but no, I had not simply overlooked it. I removed everything from the open drawer. Not there. I laid on the floor and looked under both the bed and the table. Nope. I tore the bed apart. Nothing.
Determined now, I got a flashlight and searched everywhere again. Hoping for that glint of silver, I lay on the floor one more time and cast the flashlight beam back into the dust bunny zone. No earring. That's where I was when Tim walked by. "Lost something?" he asked innocently. I regaled him with the tale of the errant earring. He assured me that I must simply have missed it as it must be there, somewhere. He took the flashlight and looked everywhere I already had and then looked further, the closet, the other side of the room, the hallway. No earring. Finally he scratched his head, shrugged his shoulder, returned the flashlight to me and went back to work.
Hmmmmm. I kept thinking about it as I put the room back to rights. Finally I eyeballed the room critically. "Well", I said to myself, "If it's not where it logically should be, then it must be where it logically couldn't be". I looked inside a few closed boxes and of course it wasn't there. It couldn't possible be there. I looked in the top drawer and of course it wasn't there because that drawer was closed so it couldn't be there. I opened the bottom drawer and there, on top of a perfectly folded, snowy white sheet was the missing earring.
How on earth was that possible? It was a closed drawer! Wormhole. It's the only explanation.
I know people who claim that there is a black hole in their laundry rooms because while 6 pair of socks may go into the washer and/or dryer only 5 1/2 sets come back out. I have NEVER had that happen. Not once. Not ever.
But if it ever does happen, I know where to look for the missing sock now. My bottom bedside table drawer. Apparently that is the other side of the wormhole.
Leave a Reply.
Yup, this is me. Some people said, "Sam, you should write a Blog". "Well, there's a thought", I thought to myself. And so here it is.