"Sooooo, what's new?" It's a perfectly ordinary normal reasonable question. It usually follows, "Hi how are you" and it shows that the other party is actually truly interested in you and your life. Which is so thoughtful, so downright sweet. And it is a question I have come to dread.
Why? Probably mostly because it is the question that, when asked of me, is most likely to cause me to have an attack of stupid. My brain just goes blank. All of the doors in all of the closets in my memory blank immediately slam shut and all I hear is a chorus of deadbolt's being slammed home.
I'm not sure why it happens, but it does. Every. Single. Time. We could have just bought a new house - nothin'. One of the kids might have just been elected President - nothin'. Aliens could have landed in my back yard recently and had a cuppa tea with me and if you ask me what's new I would say, "Well nothing I guess" Or "Same old, Same old." Why? Because immediately I have gone brain dead and would be hard pressed to know my own middle name. My usual course of action is to say, "Oh nothing really. What's new with you?" Thus transferring the onus of either actually having something new to talk to about or remembering what the heck it is. It's both very strange and very sad.
But in this moment, when I'm sitting here by myself and nobody is asking me what's new, I am perfectly happy to report to you that Yes there are 3 new things! 3! Wow!
First of all, the flower at the top of the page. A friend gave me a few plants to take care of for her. Of course I took the responsibility as seriously as I would if it had been a puppy! But I find plants to be a lot trickier to care for than a puppy. Less work but a lot trickier. So I've been especially protective and fussed far more than I usually do with a plant. And I was rewarded this weekend with these great big beautiful colourful blooms! YAY! I did not kill the plant! Hurrah!
Second new thing:
New Windshield Wipers! Woohoo! So exciting! My old ones were, well, old to begin with. They were also very squeaky (an absolutely hideous sound) and rather ineffective. So as we are approaching the rainy season here, it was prudent to get them replaced before the deluge commences.
I'm not joking about the deluge either. Oh yeah, sometimes it's just a little sprinkledinkle, or a light gentle rainfall. But as the season progresses the rain is more torrential than meagre. There are times when it feels as if someone unzipped a cloud and it all dumped, all at once, on you. And no matter if you are on foot, on bike, in car or safely tucked into your house, let's just say, you notice. On foot or on bike, you can just stop and pull over under the nearest overhang (Not a tree! lightening could strike the tree!) But in a car? Yeah, you just want the best wipers money can buy and then you slow down and hope for the best. It's wild.
So I am super happy about new thing #2!
The last New Thing:
Taadaa! Do you know what this is? It's a toilet paper holder! A brand spankin' new one! Well actually it's one of two. We have two bathrooms therefore, two toilet paper holders. And believe you me, this is an exciting new thing to have!
For whatever reason, when this house was built back in 1962, neither bathroom was outfitted with the toilet paper holder that attaches to the wall. Back then it would most likely have been made of porcelain and would match all of the rest of the tile in the room. They didn't do that here. Not a single clue why, but there it is. Facts is facts. I don't have to understand them to accept them as true.
When we bought the house nearly 5 years ago now (wow!) it came full of furniture and dishes and art (?) work and sheets. The only thing it did not have fortunately, was food in the pantry. (that would have been kind of gross right?) But of course it wasn't our furniture, our dishes, our artwork or sheets. And so we contacted someone who, as a job, purchased housefuls of that sort of thing and they made quick work of stripping the house of nearly everything.
I say nearly because the only things they did not take from the house was a really awesome roasting pan that I still use, and some toilet paper holders similar to the one above but not as nice. Still they worked. They did the job. And since we had to buy an entire house worth of other furniture, we made do wherever possible.
(the guy also did not purchase anything in our utility room which resulted in at least a half zillion trips to GoodWill with random and often strange things to donate)
One of the things we temporarily made do with was the standing toilet paper holders that came with the house. Of course I cleaned them thoroughly. Of course! I scrubbed every inch of this house as soon as it was empty. And that included the roasting pan and the old TP holders. But they worked. They did their intended job. And it was on my list to, one day, replace them.
That day was yesterday! Walmart here we come! Honestly, Walmart was intended to be just a first stop. If we could find what we wanted for less money, why not. But if they didn't have one that was an improvement over what we already had, we would have moved on to Target, then perhaps Beall's Home Store or - if absolutely necessary - Bed, Bath and Beyond. Luckily, we hit paydirt at Walmart.
They had two. And only two. Apparently everyone who uses as standing toilet paper holder needed to buy them this weekend. These work. They do the job. They hold one roll on the spindle and 3 in reserve. Perfect. AND these two have a little tray on top. For......are you ready? Your cell phone! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
When I first looked at it I was thinking, "what the heck is this for? a bar of soap?" That made no sense. Tim was the one who figured it out. That is hilarious. And a sign of the times I guess. But it works and they are brand new. And I suppose since the old ones lasted nearly five years that we know about (who knows when they were originally purchased) I suppose they ought to last awhile.
Oh my goodness, that cracked me up! So there you are. We have our fancy new standing toilet paper holders WITH cell phone trays. LOLOL!
There you have it. At long last, I had an answer for the question, "what's new?" However, the next time you see me in person and ask that question, I will still most likely say, "Nothing really. What new with you?" And I mean it with all sincerity. I really am interesting in what is new with you!
Yup, this is me. Some people said, "Sam, you should write a Blog". "Well, there's a thought", I thought to myself. And so here it is.