Well it's begun already.
I speak of the onslaught of Christmas catalogs. I confess that I do not understand why they keep sending them to me. I never buy anything that way anymore. And I'm not even going to go into my usual rant about how it annoys me that we are forced to deal with of the holidays at one time now instead of one at a time. AND how it's not even Halloween yet for heaven's sakes.
I have made my peace with it. I know it's going to happen. I've already been to Costco and saw fully decorated Christmas Trees in the same aisles as plastic pumpkins and Halloween costumes. It is apparent, even to me, that I lost that battle a long time ago.
Mostly as soon as the mail order Christmas catalogs come in, they go right into the recycle bin. But there is one that I thumb through, for entertainment purposes, before it gets round filed. And some the stuff in that catalog really makes me smile a lot and even giggle a little bit.
It is a catalog for people who apparently have everything else under the sun. The things for the people who are very difficult to shop for. People who either have the funds to indulge themselves whenever they wish with what ever they want and/or super picky people in general . Yup, those are the fun catalogs. Because they have stuff in there that I never knew existed!~
The catalog I've been looking through is called, "Uncommon Goods". Aptly named. These goods are most uncommon.
The first thing that made me laugh out loud is called, "Egg on a Bagel Maker". It's a little stoneware dish that looks very much like an angel food cake pan. You microwave your scrambled egg in it and it comes out with a hole in the middle so that it fits Perfectly on your bagel! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh that is too funny. Tim often makes egg sandwiches for us. I had never had an issue with having my egg cover the bagel hole. Have you? Is the a monumental problem for some people?
Oh here is a good one. It's an automatic pan stirrer with a timer on it. And I'm not kidding even a little bit about it. Man, if you cannot be bothered to stir your own stuff.....why cook? It kind of crouches over the pan and looks a little like a rocket ship. No thanks.
And lest you think everything in this catalog is kitchen related..well that's a big nopenope. There is also stuff for the grill! There were also the nifty kabob baskets. I've had kabob before. I've even made kabobs before. Didn't need a "basket" to do it. Skewers,yes. Baskets, no. How often do you make kabobs? Every day? Every week? Once a month? Once a year? I'm betting, for most people it's probably somewhere between the once a month and the once a year thing. Do you really need a special tool for that? Do you?
Well come to think of it, there was something I thought was kind of awesome. There was the Thirty dollar ($30!!!) magnetic notebook. It's a blank book and instead of the pages being bound or spiraled at the spine, they have a magnetic strip on the edge. Pages in, pages out neatly. It's very cool but at the rate that I go through notebooks? Not a good expenditure of cash.
Oh here is an absolute essential. Scotch-infused toothpicks. Is there someone on your list that you cannot think of something for? There is the answer. No one should ever have to suffer scotch-less toothpicks!
And then there is the one that I completely do not understand. It's called a Gemstone Facial Roller. What the heck? I understand how it works...I mean technically works. It's made out of polished "gems' and it looks like an itty bitty asphalt roller. Only you do this to your face. But Why? No, really, someone explain to me what on earth this is all about?
Anyway, that's it. My favourite Christmas catalog has arrived and I've now read it and I suppose if Mark Zuckerberg or Elon Musk or Beyonce were on my list of people that I bought Christmas gifts for, perhaps I might actually consider one of those items. But since they are not, I won't. All of the rest of the catalogs come in the mail and without even being open they go right back out.
When I was a little kid however, we waited with eager anticipation for the Sears, Roebuck Christmas Catalog. And it wasn't just my sister and I who were excited about it either. It was a catalog for the entire family. There was something in there for everyone! They called it the "Wish Book". Perfect for all your Christmas Wishes. The things you already knew you wanted and the thing you never knew you wanted. Stuff for everyone on your shopping list. From Babies to Old Ladies.
Mother and Daddy (and Joy and I of course) would pour over the catalog until the pages were worn out. Decisions were made and then eventually the order would be placed (I think by telephone, but it might have been a mail order thing. I'm actually not certain). And then a series of big mysterious boxes would arrive only to be squirreled away to our parent's bedroom where they would sort things out.
I was the official present wrapper in the family, so I would gift wrap things and hand them off to my mother who would put everything to be mailed to each family group in a larger box which was then wrapped with brown paper and tied with string, addressed and taken to the post office where it would be shipped around the country. In turn, our family would received giant cardboard boxes from Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents. It was an exciting time! I vividly remember being very very small standing on a chair in the kitchen looking into a cardboard box on the table. And recall being nearly overcome with anticipation and excitement. I think it didn't even matter what was in those packages.
When I was in high school, which was in Texas, I discovered the Neiman Marcus catalog. Now there was an interesting Christmas Catalog. I understand that the catalog still exists but now you have to pay for it. I'm not paying for a catalog especially since I never intend to buy anything from it. So I haven't seen that one in years.
I really do not remember any other catalogs existing until I was grown and then it was dozens and dozens of catalogs arriving! Of course this was before the internet and on-line shopping. Back then, I actually did do quite a bit of Christmas Shopping out of those catalogs that came through the mail, unrequested (and free I might add). But that was long ago and far away.
I have to say that my all-time favourite catalog ever is the Harry & David catalog. Do you know that one? They specialize in gorgeous gift baskets of fruits and nuts and candies and, well it was a big part of my life for a very long time. My Nana received many a gift basket from the Harry & David catalog and with every gift basket they also send along a new catalog to look through. While the goodies were always exemplary and the baskets beautiful and the catalog fun to peruse, the reason I loved them so much is because, for no reason that anyone will ever understand, my Nana referred to Harry & David as Lars & Dwight. Not a clue why. But she did it every single time. And after awhile, we also called it Lars & Dwight. And eventually even our friends referred to it the same way. Nana is long gone, but every time the Harry & David catalog arrives, in my mind I think of Nana and correct it to Lars & Dwight.
Do any of you still shop from the Christmas Catalogs that come through the mail? Am I the only one who mostly just throws them away?
Have a WONDERFUL weekend!
Yup, this is me. Some people said, "Sam, you should write a Blog". "Well, there's a thought", I thought to myself. And so here it is.