November 07th, 2018

I seem to be a little ladybug of a person don't I.  Practically a girl scout.  Butter wouldn't melt in my mouth as they used to say in the South. A little bunny rabbit. Wouldn't harm a fly.

Well, just so's you know's, appearances can be deceiving.  According to a list I recently read, I belong on the naughty list.

I don't remember the name of the list but it was something about being a good citizen during the Holidays.  And I honestly thought that I was. I recycle.  I don't litter. I open doors for people. I let little old ladies go ahead of me in line when they only have a couple of items.  I walk instead of drive most of the time.  I bring my carrybags to the grocery store to avoid using anymore plastic than absolutely necessary.  I say, please and thank you and excuse me.  And if I'm on public transportation, I always stand to allow someone else to sit.

Apparently that is not anywhere near enough. 

Now I am being told that I must also stop using gift wrap paper and ribbon. What?  All of the beautiful memories of a Christmas tree piled high with mysterious and beautifulyl wrapped gifts in bright colours and patterns beguilingly trailing bows and ribbon.....gone.  The article suggested instead wrapping gifts in plain brown paper. Plain brown paper is fine I suppose. Not very festive but fine.  Still, what ever happened to saving the trees!  Plain brown paper is still paper which is made from trees, right?  OH wait.  Maybe it's all recycled paper.  Ahhh. Well, as I said,  i's fine.  It's just boring. And guess what.  I'm not doing it. See!  Straight to the naughty list.

Also on the list was no Christmas goodies. No Christmas cookies, no Christmas candy.  Wow'!  Whoever wrote this list is a real grinch!  Half the fun of Christmas is eating things that are bad for us!  The other half is making things that are bad for us.  The idea was that once a person steps outside of their healthy eating habits it's hard to get back in.  To say nothing about weight gain and the EVIL of sugar in general.  Sigh.  Well I'm gonna make goodies and what's more I'm gonna eat them! So There!

Ix-nay on the ights-lay as it is an unnecessary energy suck.  No electric lights.  What?  What?   It's not Christmas without lights.  And I'm not even going to apologize for saying that.  Christmas is the one time of year when things are supposed to be over the top.  There is no such thing as too opulent, too gaudy or too bright at Christmas time.

No Christmas Cards other than  e-cards was on the list..  Back to saving trees I suppose.  Personally I love getting mail that is not a bill or an advertisement. I assume other people do too.  So I am damn well sending real Christmas Cards through the mail. I am not requiring anyone to send any to me.  I'm just saying what I do.

Other stuff on the list was no live Christmas trees. Which is sad.  We do not have a live tree anymore but I do miss them.  We have a fakeyfake tree for convenience sake and it breaks my heart that I've resorted to that  On the other hand: Don't have to water it.  Don't have to tramp through the forest finding the "right" tree and chop it down and haul it back and strap it to the roof of the car, then drag it into the house and make the !#^%#@* thing stand up straight in the tree stand without it falling over and turn the previously unnoticed bare spot to the wall, all before decorating it to say nothing of the ridiculous cost. 

But there was a time when we did that. For years we did that.  And I miss the smell of a real pine tree in the house.  The imperfections of it honestly are part of the charm.  Now our tree is absofreakinlutely perfect. And pre-lit.  And it's very convenient and currently in three separate pieces in a box in the utility room waiting. But the very fact that someone is telling me that I CANNOT have a real tree makes me want one again.

See, you cannot tell this about  me because I'm not lounging up against a lampost in a leather jacket and a micro-mini skirt with my hair in my face and a cigarette hanging out of my mouth but I really am a rebel at heart.

I am so doggone contrary that as soon as I'm told that I can't do something, I immediately want to do it.  

"Stay off the Grass" the sign says.  Sam reaches one foot off the sidewalk and touches the grass.

"Private Road.  Do Not Enter"  Sam walks about three feet down the road, turns around and comes back.

"Absolutely No Photographs"  Sam very sneakily snaps a photo of her feet

That is the real me.

AND THEREFORE I will be wrapping all of my gifts in lovely festive Christmas wrapping paper and any gifts I receive wrapped in pretty paper will be so carefully opened that I can save the paper and use it again (that's sort of recycling right?)  Same with the ribbon.

I will both make and eat as many Christmas goodies as I possibly can and then after the holidays get back on track with my usual good eating habits.

And now I'm seriously considering a small live tree.  Something I can put on a table top just for the joy of breathing in that Christmas Pine Tree scent. 

I will have lights on my tree(s) and on my house AND I will be sending actual real Christmas cards.

Naughty list be damned.  Nobody will taking my Christmas away from me!​   And in all honestly, it's mostly because they told me I couldn't.

I am such a rebel ;)