November 09th, 2020

.Apologies for the quality of the above photo.  I cannot seem to take a photo of anything on a computer screen correctly.  You get the jist of it right?  I found yet another set of "rules" for women and this one has to do with our ages.

"10 Things You Should Probably Not Wear If You Are Over 50"  is the title.  Hmmmm.  At least they gave us a 'probably'.  But the mere idea that someone has decided what women over 50 should and should not wear is not merely annoying it's ridiculous.  Somehow by crossing the line from age 50 to age 51, we have become, somehow, offensive by our very existence.  The very least that we can do to mitigate this, is to be an invisible as possible.  I'm irritated.  

But let's take a look at the list, shall we?  Perhaps I'm leaping to unfounded conclusions (but probably not).  I've copy/pasted directly from the list in Bold.  My comments are in regular nonbold font.

#1.  Overdone makeup. Women can start to look washed out as they age.  Don’t compensate by piling on the bright colors or you’ll look like a drag queen. Heavy foundation falls into the cracks &  red lipstick bleeds. Lighten up. You’ll look years younger and your pillowcases won’t look like a four-color Rorschach test every morning. Choose matte shades in neutral colors like grey and taupe, but avoid frosted and shimmer make-up as it just gets stuck in the cracks.

Okay.  First off, yes I've seen some appalling make-up looks out there.  More horror movie clown like than actual normal human being make-up. So that is not an age specific issue.   Nobody of any age looks good made up like a clown.  Unless of course, you actually are a clown.  So I honestly don't think this should be an over 50 thing.  This should be an everyone thing. And the avoiding shimmer crack?  Why?  Special events, formal events, evening events just beg for a little sparkle.  Why not!  Oh and the pillowcase that looks like a  Rorschach test?  Wash your face before bed.  Everyone knows that.   Again, all ages wash your face!  So I'm taking this one off the list.

#2. Avoid excessive cleavage: While being over 50 doesn’t mean you can’t wear something sexy, the enemy of women over 50 isn’t time, it is gravity. No matter how fit you are,  knees, armpits, and cleavage will reveal you age. When it comes to cleavage, a plunging neckline can come off as desperate and attention-seeking. Instead, leave some to the imagination and flaunt what the endless hours at the gym help maintain.

This one is a little mystifying because they initially were discussing cleavage and then they wander off to knees and armpits.  If your cleavage is exposing your armpits and your knees, then, yes, it's probably too  deep a plunge, I agree.   In all honesty, my legs, which includes my knees, are probably the best looking part of my body.  In the summer, here in Florida, when it's hot and humid, I'm by gawd wearing shorts.  If you don't like it, don't look at me.   And armpits?  Nobody has good looking armpits.  That is just stupid.

#3. Think “sensual” rather than sexy: Get dressed to make an entrance, not sneak in quietly through the back door. Just because you’ve hit 50, doesn’t mean you’re invisible. Show of your femininity with luxe, rich fabrics like silk, satin, and cashmere. Use fur details and deep colors (champagne, violet and hunter green) to channel a powerful female vibe that’s sensual but not overtly sexual.

Furs?  Ooooo the PETA people aren't going to be big fans of this one.  I actually really love what they call "luxe" fabrics.  But it's not very practical for daily wear.  Anything that has to be dry cleaned only gets worn on special occasions.  And the colours we are "allowed" to wear?  They are fine.  But I'll be damned if I will be restricted to a certain pallette of colours on someone else's say so.  I am capable of choosing my own colours, thank you very much.  And by the way, none of them will be either champagne or violet.  Not because they are bad colours but because I look terrible in them.

#4. Baggy & oversize clothes. Baggy clothes don’t hide middle-age weight gain.  If you could fit a hammock up under your shirt, I guarantee you that you look heavier and older than your years. They draw attention to it by suggesting you’re actually filling up all that space.  Find a style that flatters your shape, then buy every color they make. Don’t wear large shapeless clothes – they just make you look bigger. Belts will give you definition even if you don’t have a waist.

I am actually on board with this one.  But it's not just a truth for women over 50, it's true for everyone! Wearing saggy baggy clothing is not flattering on anyone. However, there are days when I just don't want my clothes touching me.  I don't why, but it's true for me.  So my objection to this one is only that I resent it being a truth specifically for older women when in all actuality, it's true for everyone.  (even though I break this rule all of the time)

#5. Neutral colors are the scourge of the middle-aged. If you insist on dark colors, then at least choose navy over black, and cream over white, as monochrome is too harsh on older skins.

I like all colours but all colours, or at least all shades of all colours,  do not look good on me.  This is true for everyone and for every age.  And I have to add that this was written in the most snobby tone, "If you insist on dark colours..."  makes it sound like I'm a small child having a tantrum over not being allowed an extra cookie.  Some women look beautiful in black or white, some look better in navy or cream, at every age.   It's much too broad a statement.

#6. No need for unreasonable footwear: Ditch the heels for a couple of good pairs of sling backs and flats. Besides, “stripper heels” should be left to the 20-something-year-olds. These costume shoes are impractical additions to a mature wardrobe and result more often in blisters than fashion envy.  Classic shapes in well-cut materials will suit you better.

Ditch the heels?  Never!  Of course my heels aren't so-called, "stripper heels" they are gorgeous, quality, beautiful, well made (and fairly costly) high heeled shoes.  I don't wear them every day but I wear them when I want to.  I am not suggesting that there is anything wrong with sling-backs or flats, I wear those most every day, but there is also nothing wrong with wearing heels that fit properly, that a person can walk or stand for long periods of time in comfortably, and that look smashing and make you feel like a million bucks.  

#7. You’re never too old to wear Jeans. Denim are ageless and suit every shape and size. Wear with a crisp white shirt and trench coat for a classic look.

Finally!  A rule I can get behind.  And it's funny because I read another list not long ago that talked about how women over 30 ought to avoid jeans. And I believe I laughed out loud and said, "Never Gonna Happen".  I love my jeans.  I will wear them forever.  But I am now laughing at this particular rule saying to wear jeans with a  crisp white shirt.  Ummm, See Rule #5 about avoid white and choosing cream instead.  Now they are in violation of their own rules.  If they cannot follow them, why should anyone else?

#8. Crop tops and hot pants If you spend countless hours in the gym, it could be tempting to sport trendy crop tops. But the fact is that you can feel sexy without revealing too much. Wearing hot pant after 50 doesn’t reflect a confident, composed woman with a style to envy. Save it for the beach.

Well, hmmm.  On the one hand, I think that everyone should wear whatever they like.  On the other hand, I also kind of feel that crop tops and so-called shorty shorts probably look best on girls under the age of consent.  I will leave this one at do as you please, but I won't be wearing either one of these things anytime soon.  Shorts, yes. Shorty shorts, no.  Crop tops?  Nope. Nobody wants to see that.

#9. Your daughter’s clothes and accessories: Arm candy, nail glitter, and animal print anything are trendy traps that substantially age their victims rather than keep them looking young and hip. Your teenage daughter may be rocking the looks, but combining knockoff knick-knacks leads to a gaudy disaster.

Not certain what "arm candy" refers to here.  It used to mean having a very attractive date (of either gender) so I am baffled at this reference. Clearly I'm out of touch with current colloquialisms.  But nail glitter?  Go for it.  Why not?  Have fun.  Animal prints?  I see that in high fashion magazines all of the time. And often on very well dressed mature women too so that one is bogus.  Trends?  Well, Trends are always very short-lived.  I would never invest heavily in trendy fashion anyone.  But I think someone can choose classic wear most of the time and participate a tiny bit in trends successfully.  Otherwise, we would all still be dressing like Laura Ingalls out on the prairie.   

#10. Classic and minimalist always a good idea: Classic shapes always work. For example, wrap dresses, a belted trench coat, peacoat, button-up white shirt, and tunic-length tops will flatter for years to come. Go for a minimalist style with functional designs and details. Think zippers instead of gold buttons and clean lines that flatter your natural shape.

Personally, I have always gravitated toward classic clothing mostly for the longevity of my wardrobe.  By purchasing timeless classics of good quality, I have clothing that lasts for years without  looking hopelessly out of style.  But minimalist?  I think that is a matter of personal taste and expression.   Zippers instead of buttons?  What the heck is wrong with buttons?  I have nothing against zippers but I would never automatically dismiss an outfit with buttons just because of the buttons.  That's just plain silly.

Here's my rules.  Wear clothing you like.  Choose garments that make you feel good about yourself.  Select things that are comfortable.  And the most important rule of all:  Be Who You Are.

I strongly resent and resist any rules that are so arbitrary and ridiculous.  It feels as if the writer is trying to lump all women over 50 into one category and factory process us into looking one certain way so that we are easier to be identified and then, even more easily, dismissed.  I feel as if they are demanding that we be invisible.  That we never call attention to ourselves or  stand out from the crowd. Simply because we crossed some invisible line that has to do with our birthdates.  Utter nonsense. 

Decide who you are, and then be that person.