May 07th, 2019

I am a very smiley person ;)  It's just my nature.  It isn't something I do on purpose, it's just who I am.  I am not just a Glass Half Full sort of person, I'm a Glass Half Full AND there is more in the fridge sort of person. 

Most people like being around happy people. I have found that Smiles are contagious.  When I am around happy, smiling people, I tend to be happier, smilier (smile-ier?  Is that a word?)  It not only brightens my day, it lightens any load I'm carrying. It makes life easier somehow.

There are, however, a couple of downsides.  One of course is that while Most people like being around happy people, not everyone does.  And my being a smiley person REALLY irritates those folks.  I know I've told this story before, but I'll risk being redundant to tell it again.  It's pertinent.

 One of the many amazing nurses I was fortunate to have  worked with in my life was not a jolly happy person.   A Great nurse!  A terrific human being!  But while she wasn't a constant thunderstorm, she just wasn't all sunshine and roses either.  And some days she was seriously Not in a Good Mood. 

On one of those sorts of days, when I walked into the office chirruping out my happy Good Mornings and getting my workday underway, she walked up to me and said, "You know how you are always happy and smiling and cheerful all the time?"  "Yes" I nodded and smiled back at her.  "Well" she continued in a perfectly conversational tone, "It's really starting to piss me off!"   I laughed so hard.  Not to be mean, but it just struck me funny.  

Of course it did.  I'm that kind of person.  You give me lemons I not only make lemonade, but I am happy about I'm doing it.   I suppose my whole Pollyanna thing can be a bit much.  I can tone it down if I have to.  Turn down the wattage on my smile with concentrated effort.

And, that brings me weirdly to the other problem with being a happy person.  Some people incorrectly interpret my smiling, friendly, happy attitude as flirting.  WHAT?  No. No. No.  That's not what I'm doing.  I am being pleasant.  I'm being friendly.  I'm being a good listener.

I cannot tell you the number of times I have been having what I thought was a perfectly innocent and pleasant exchange with someone male who suddenly gets way too friendly.  When I am then surprised and put off by their change of demeanor, they get huffy with me.  They are surprised that I am surprised because after all, "I was flirting with them.  What did I expect?"  Well NOT that for sure!  No I was absolutely NOT flirting!  

I even asked one guy why he thought I was flirting with him.  He said that it was because I was nice to him.  I was dumbfounded.  I'm nice to EVERYONE! I smile all the time!  I like people, I find them interesting but that doesn't mean I'm flirting!  Geezo criminy!

It's almost enough to make me not be smiley.  Almost.  But not enough.  I like being happy.
But I promise you, I am a lot more careful about misinterpretation!

I actually have recently learned that this is not an unusual problem.  Many smiley happy friendly people have this exact same issue!  Wow!  I think it's time for some education.  A little PSA if you will.

Ok, let me be very clear.  Being happy does not mean flirting.  Smiling does not mean flirting. Being pleasant does not mean flirting.  It just means being happy.  Happy is good. But it is not flirting.  Are we crystal clear on this now?

In every single one of the photos below....Happy.  Not flirting.  Learn the difference please!

This has been a Public Service Announcement :)