March 21st, 2025

I'm going to be 72 this year so I am completely qualified to the following opinion:  Getting Old Sucks.  In fact, it sucks rocks, it stinks on ice, it's gnarly pits, it's.....I cannot come up with a phrase that adequately explains how downright lousy it is.  

Those of you who are around my age will probably agree that 90% of being old is crap.  If you are younger, you will not understand no matter how compassionate and empathetic you might be.

It started small and sneaky, almost like a comic book villain.  A few wrinkles and crinkles around the eyes that we justify by calling them, "smile lines".  "Isn't that adorable?    I started noticing them (they were probably there before but I don't look in the mirror very often) when I was mid 50's.  I piffled it off and declared that it didn't bother me a bit.  (I was lying both to me and everyone around me. It bothered me, a lot)

Then it was the things affected by gravity.  Let me start by saying that I'm glad we have gravity, I'm happy to be firmly placed upon this planet but when it comes to the impact of gravity upon my personal person, not a fan.  Gravity pulls everything down and I mean everything (it's why we fall down and not up afterall).  I began looking in the mirror even less than before. That's how I combat my enemies - with a strong wallop of denial!

When it came to arthritis, I couldn't pretend it wasn't there, dang it.  It wasn't just the pain and believe me when I say this, it hurts, all day every day there is some degree of what the medical books laughingly describe as "discomfort".  If you have arthritis, you understand, if you don't, you absolutely do not.  For me, the pain alone wasn't the biggest issue it was that suddenly, my fingers were pointing in all sorts of wrong directions and most of the joints no longer bent.  the accuracy of my typing was severely impacted coz the doggone keyboard keys were no longer where my fingers were aiming.  And of course the lack of ability to bend my fingers also meant playing violin was out of the question, picking up small objects takes a lot of creative problem solving and even people who seriously need to be punched, would go punchless.  

Growing up, even into younger adulthood, I saw a doctor once a year.  As a kid it was shots and the school and sports team clearance more than anything.  Once a year was frankly more than necessary.  Suddenly one innocent annual doctor appointment ends up being referred to specialists of all sorts.  Now we have an entire rolodex worth of medical professionals and it feels like there is some sort of doctor appointment happening every month.  Our calendars are cluttered up with all sorts of medical nonsense.  

The old digestive system that never let us down as kids allowing us to eat an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies with potato chip chips on the side and a soda chaser with impunity, now balks at the stupidest things.  Spicy food?  No I'm sorry, my body doesn't like that anymore.  Fried foods?  Oh it smells so good, but I'm afraid I would have to pay the price later. Citrus? nope. Acidic foods? negative.  Pizza?  Oh I love it way more than it loves me, I'm afraid.   Ice cream?":  Stop torturing me!  The list of foods we cannot (or should not) eat is much longer than the ones we can.  Most of what's left is very boring.

Then there is the really scary stuff, cognitive issues.  Walking into a room and not remembering why.  Setting down my glasses and having no idea where.  Starting one project and getting distracted by another part way through over and over so that by the end of the day I am surrounded by a half dozen, half-finished projects.  There are days when I walk around all day thinking, "there is something that I forgot to do" and not realizing what that thing was until the next day. All those times when I cannot think of the word I want to use.  I know what letter it starts with, I know what the word means, I just cannot for the life of me think of the dang word.  ARGH!  Frustrating and terrifying all in one.

Fatigue is a close personal friend now.  I get out an exercise, I do.  Nearly every day I get out and walk, whether it's around town, into town to do errands, to get to wherever I need to go (I walk errands rather than run them heh) or in the forest on a Photo Safari.  I am not the sort that just sits on my tushy all day. I have a round of exercises that I thoroughly hate doing but loyally do at least 3 or 4 times a week. And I'm busy with volunteer work, yard work, shopping, cooking, baking, cleaning, planning and my many interests.  All of these things are highly recommended activities to combat fatigue and yet.............and yet!  Every single afternoon around 3 or 4 o'clock I could easily have a little nap.  A tiny snooze.

Someone (much younger than I) recently was talking to me about certain aspects of the global/political scene and while I was able to calmly reasonably intelligently discuss the topic with her, I wasn't getting all steamed up about it.  And that made her a little annoyed.  "Why aren't you mad about this?", she demanded, "You are sitting there just as calm and cool as a cucumber instead of really being PO'd".  I answered without giving it a seconds thought, "I'm too tired to be angry".  It seems that, for me at least, being angry takes a lot more energy than being calm or being happy or pleased or content or anything positive and I just don't have the oomph for anger anymore.

For the most part, we don't complain about it.  My Nana used to say that there is no point in complaining about the heat because complaining doesn't make it a dang bit cooler.  Same goes for this getting old stuff.  Not only will complaining not change it, it's boring to talk about. It is!  It's dull and boring and nobody wants to hear it. So when anybody says, "How are you?"  My immediate answer is "just fine, how are you?"  even when I am very clearly not fine.

As you can plainly see, there isn't much to like about getting old.  Well maybe one thing.  I find that I am more apt to speak my mind now.  usually in a kind, polite way, but still if you ask my opinion, beware because you will hear the truth. Sometimes I will even give a warning, "Be absolutely certain that you want to hear my answer because I will tell you what I really think".  This is new for me and for the most part it's a good thing.

The other, slightly related thing, is that I don't always say yes now.  Sometimes  I say no.  Again politely and kindly, but firmly.  "Hey come join us for pickleball?"  'No thank you, but kind of you to ask." 'oh come on, it's fun"  "I'm glad you enjoy it"  "Really!  It'll be good for you"  "no thank you, I am not much of a sports person".  See! Most of that was very polite but firm.    Turns out you can say almost anything as long as you have a smile on your face.

One of the biggest and life altering things I can do now is say no with NO explanation.  This brand spankin' new for me!  "Hey we are having a party on the 12th, would you like to come?"  "No thank you". The end.  I was a shocking revelation for me that not only could I say no but I didn't have to explain why. Just no.  Wow!   And now I can do that.  I make no apology for wanting a nap mid afternoon, or turning down the offer of eating Thai food, or not wanting to loan out a precious book.  it's  whole new me. And I like it.

Why I am suddenly so much brave so say no, to speak my mind, I have no  idea but I'm positive that it's related to being older and I am grateful for it.  I am so much more confident in my own decision making these days.  I don't second guess myself as much, I don't over think like I used to either.  Both good things.  

I reckon that's it.  My opinion about getting old is, avoid it if you can.  Put it off as long as possible. I don't care how many cute commercials they show on TV of smiling old folks loving life (and I do love my life - don't get me wrong) and having a ball, most of getting old sucks. Be prepared.