March 20th, 2019

Maybe it's my age.  Well not just mine but apparently loads of people because suddenly I am hearing a whole lot of blah-de-blah about Bucket Lists.   And that's cool.  If it works for you it works. But personally I am not a "bucket list" kind of person.   And here is my issue with it.  As I understand it, a bucket list is comprised to things to do that each person feels their life just would not be complete without having actually, well, done.  Let's say that there were 100 items on this list.  And life is going by and the person is checking items off, tralalalala.  This person is making it an active mission to experience every item on this list.  And as time goes by, they get more and more focused on the fulfillment of this doggone list! They get to the 99th and boom, their number, as we say, is up.  As their life is winking out, one of their last thoughts is, "Dang, one more and I would have finished".  I hate leaving things unfinished!  Frankly I don't need that kind of pressure.

I enjoy everywhere I go, everyone I met, everything I do.  I embrace most new experiences and appreciate the heck out of what good fortune I have.  But I have intentionally worked at learning how to live in the moment instead of always looking ahead.  So I don't have a bucket list.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that I have an anti-bucket list of sorts.  That is, things that I absolutely never need to do.

For example, Bungee Jumping.  I do not need to leap from a bridge tethered to that structure only by a rubber band. Now that I think about it, it's bigger than that  actually.  I absolutely have no intention of ever doing such a thing.  And why?  Have you ever had the experience of wrapping a rubber band around something only to have that rubber band break?  The snapback seriously hurts!  And it's always a surprise.  It only takes one Bungee chief  (actually I have no idea what they call the person in charge) who is a little  bit of a slacker one day and doesn't notice that the band is getting a wee bit frayed for such shenanigans.  Maybe he has bad allergies and his allergy medication makes him a little foggy.  Perhaps she has a bad hangover or is depressed over a recent breakup and is therefore distracted.  Regardless of the reason, there I go, plunging into the gorge below thinking, "Well dang it all. I didn't really want to do this in the first place and this is exactly why".    I hate it when I have to "I told you so" myself. 

Parachuting is another thing that absolutely is on my anti-bucket list.  The only sane reason I can think of to willingly jump from a plane is if it's on fire and/or going to crash. And ever then, someone else will have to buckle me into the parachute harness because my brain will have just shut off.  That same person will have to fling my body from the plane and still I will probably have a massive coronary and die on the way down. So if it were an bucket list item, it wouldn't count anyway.  Or maybe it would because I actually did parachute but it won't matter because I won't be around to draw that little line through the word, Parachute.

It's not just big adrenaline rushing sorts of things on my anti-bucket list.  There are small, seemingly ordinary things too. Like....eating Sushi.  Gack.  I don't like cooked fish.  I cannot imagine that I would like raw fish any better. And I do not need to order it in a restaurant to learn this.  I can live my entire life knowing that I never ate (fish) Sushi and feel no sense of regret or loss.  I do understand that there are vegetable Sushi's however. And someday, maybe, if I feel the urge, I might try that.  It hasn't happened so far, but I will allow for the possibility.

Another thing on the list is attend a Monster Truck Rally.  Nope. Don't need to do that.  I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Not at all.  It's just not my thing.  I've honestly only ever seen Monster Truck commercials on TV or seen these rallys depicted on TV shows or in movies. But there is absolutely nothing about them that says,  "Wow, I'd like to see that in person!". First of all, they are, without question, Very Loud.  My hearing is already damaged.  I don't need to damage it any further.  Then too, they are Very Big.  (Well, duh, of course they are big.  Monster Truck Rally).  I am very small.  Very large things are a little intimidating to me.  Perhaps that is the intent. Hmm. Anyway, these trucks do what?  They drive around.  They kind of sort of do tricks.  It's like what horses do at a rodeo only it's trucks. Hmmm.   Yeah ok.  I understand that the folks who are really into Monster Truck Rally's have favourite drivers and trucks and cheer them on to victory!  Victory.  So this is a competition of sorts?  This is a sport?  Like Football?   A rally to me is more of a showcase.  A sport is a game with winners and losers. Completely different things.  I guess I just don't really understand.  Probably my biggest objection in truth is the noise.

I also do not ever need to go hunting. Once again, I am not poo-pooing hunting or hunters. Especially responsible hunters who follow the rules and eat what they kill.  I have great respect for the skill involved.  But I have no desire ever to kill a living creature (with the exception of blood sucking bugs - they come in my house, they die without a seconds remorse on my part).  I'm do not eat a lot of meat as it is and I definitely do not care to eat something that I have gazed into the beautiful eyes of and connected with. I will be totally honest in saying that at one time I lived on a working farm and those animals were indeed harvested.  I knew those creatures.  I feed them and talked to them and cared for them.   But I did not do the actual harvesting.  AND I did not eat them.  I did however, cook and serve it to my family.  Sounds a little hypocritical doesn't it?  Sorry. But it's the truth.  And I suppose in the bigger picture raising animals for food on a farm is different than hunting them down in the forest.    I do realize that I've been very fortunate in my life that I have never been so hungry that I was forced to kill something in order to eat or feed my family.

Oh!  I just thought of something else I do not ever need to do and that is intentionally set out to meet a famous person.  There are a lot of famous people that I admire.  Well I suppose what I mean is that I admire what I actually know about them. Which isn't all that much.  Just what I read or see at a distance.  For example, the writer, Diana Gabaldon.  Her work is amazing! I have not yet read a single book of hers that I didn't love.  I've seen her in filmed interviews and I have enjoyed her brilliant  mind, snappy comebacks and share her fondness for history and the written word.  But I do not need to ever meet her.  I have nothing to say to a famous person beyond, "I really love your work" which every famous person has already heard ad nauseum .  I do not have a single question to ask that they haven't already been asked a thousand or so times.  And our lives are just so radically different that, other than both being human beings who live in the same time/space continuum, we have absolutely nothing in common.  

What else? Hmmmm.  I do not need to attempt to ride an Ostrich.  I have seen people attempt this on television and I'm good.  I have actually seen Ostriches up close and personal.  When Tim and I went to Curacao, we visited an Ostrich Ranch.  It was interesting and fun.  I got to feed an Ostrich.   Just a tip, they are a lot bigger in person than you might think.  And stronger.  Very Very strong.  I've ridden horses and that was fine.  But Ostriches, no.  In fact, anything other than a horse, no.  No cows, no camels, no donkeys, no well no anything else.

I also do not need to try spelunking.  Spelunking is the exploration of caves.  There is a Television Show that Tim and I both enjoy called, Exploration Unknown, wherein archeologist, Josh Gates (very entertaining fellow) finds himself exploring caves with alarming frequency.  He is a good sized gentleman and through the magic of television we have seen him squeeze himself into smaller and smaller passageways and underwater tunnels, ducking stalagmites and stalactites, guided only by the thin beam of a flashlight and I have serious clutching the arms of the sofa with one hand while hiding my face under a blanket claustrophobia just watching him. On the other hand,  I have been in quite a few famous caverns:  Merrimack, Cave of the Winds, Polar Caves are the first three to come to mind.  And of course the difference here is that they are already well explored,  they are well lit, carefully paved and people are only taken through nice big cave rooms. And even then, once we got outside I suddenly felt like I could breathe again.  So no. I do not need to explore little known, unfamiliar, poorly lit, tiny chambered caves....for fun. Or profit. 

Well I guess you get the idea here.  It is already a well established fact that I am a big chicken.  So it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that anything a thrill seeker might have on their to-do list is on my not-a-chance list.  Hah!    

​How 'bout you?  What's on your lists?