June 15th, 2018

I bet you are wondering what the deal is with this photo.  Maybe this could be like a game show question, 'What is the relationship between these items'?  But you would probably guess wrong.  How could you possibly know, how could anyone ever guess that these are the items in my personal household toolbox?

It's not as if I own an actual toolbox.  Tim does. It's enormous! Lots of drawers of all different sizes, and it's on wheels, it's metal and we keep it in the utility room. I think it's made by Craftsman. It's serious stuff.  I rarely touch anything in it.  When I'm painting and need to remove and later replace switch plates, I need a screwdriver.  And once in a very long while, I'm called upon to saw something down outside which, of course, necessitates a saw. Otherwise no.  That's Tim's toybox, not mine.

The contents of my toolbox, as it were, are spread around.  The table knife of course, is kept  in the silverware drawer with all it's fellows.  The scissors live in the pencil jar on my "desk" and those blue and green rubber thingies (I honestly do not know what they are called - perhaps grippers?) are in a utility drawer in the kitchen with things like the egg slicer and potato masher.  Everything is close at hand for when I need it.  

My kitchen is essentially my office.  I spend the vast majority of my day in there so most anything that I might require a tool for would most likely happen in the kitchen too.  Makes sense to keep my "tools" in the kitchen, right?

Mostly I require tools to open various things.  Despite what it says on any packaging, I have found remarkably few items that actually are "E-Z Open".   After many years of attempting to wrestle packages open and consequently destroying my nails, the package, sometimes the product within the package and my good nature, I don't even try to open anything as per the "easy open"  directions on package anymore.

I recently bought new toothbrushes for Tim and I.  Generally every three to four months I buy new ones. Or after either of us has a cold, the flu, a respiratory infection. It just seems like a good idea.  Toothbrushes aren't very expensive.  But considering how difficult it is to open the doggone package, you would think that at the very least, the contents were made of platinum!  I no longer struggle with those plastic boxes of impenetrability. I just cut them open and taadaa, done.

The package opening instructions do not involve the word "scissors" at all.  The package opening instructions are wrong.

Laundry soap pods is another one.  I understand that they are trying to prevent children from poisoning themselves. I get that.  But what about the adult who is simply trying to do their laundry?  I need to get that package open.  There is some sort of complicated zip lock thing with a tear strip and the whispering of a secret pass word and well, honestly, I don't even  know. I just cut it open below the Ziploc thingie and pour them into another large container that I keep on a shelf in the laundry room. Done. 

The knife?  Well that is for poptops primarily.  .  My sad little arthritic fingers cannot manage a poptop anymore.  Cans of corn, cans of fruit all open with poptops now.  Even the milk we buy has a poptop under the screwcap.  I have found that if I put the top of the knife into the middle of that poptop and just lift with the knife handle, Taadaa!  Open. Easy Peasy.

But the knife is also for opening a new jar of dried herbs or mayo or Advil.  Once again under the screw cap is another barrier to mess with me.  There is usually a very slippery bit of plastic or heavy duty paper that has tiny little tabs.  Supposedly if I grasp one of those tiny little tabs and gently pull, that barrier will lift right off.  Hah! First of all it's difficult even for my small fingers to get a good hold on that teensy little slippery tab.  Secondly, it has never once, not ever, simply lifted off.  No amount of tugging or swearing for that matter, will help.  However, if I puncture the barrier with the knife first, I can peel the barrier away.  Clever girl :)

New box of rice?  I use the table knife at the perforation for a nice clean opening.  Also works on brand new boxes of baking soda.  The knife is also used to open boxes of cereal, crackers or poptarts.  Instead of trying to pry it open with my fingers, I slip the table knife easily between the two pieces of cardboard and lift. So much better!

Knife also work to open a picture frame.  You know how on the back there are those little metal bits that have to be lifted to remove the backing so you can replace the photograph?  Table knife lifts those just fine and then works in reverse to press  those buggers right back into place without any wear and tear on the fingers. If absolutely necessary, a table knife can also work as a flat head screwdriver too. Just sayin'

The blue and green rubber grippie thingies are for opening virtually anything else.  Pickle jars?  Yes!  Spaghetti sauce in a jar?  Yes!  Solid air freshners require two of them, one at the top and one at the bottom but YES!  Success!  The rubber grippers work on new tubes of toothpaste,  mouthwash and particularly stubborn jars of olives.  Another multi-tasker! 

Aggravating pretzel bags are opened with scissors and then the top is folded and held in place with a  nice big clip. Same goes for cereal bags.  Packages of cheese are cut open and then ziplocked closed.  I just don't fuss about it any more.  In short, anything that is suppose to pull or tear open?  Scissors to the rescue.

As it turns out, I can open virtually anything in my kitchen that I could ever possibly need to open with any of those three items.  Kind of proud of myself for working this out.  Necessity, as it turns out, is solved by a mother.  

Have a GREAT weekend!  And please remember to celebrate all of the various Father's in your life!