January 24th, 2025

You know this story, right, the Tortoise and the Hare, where in the end the message is that slow and steady wins the race?  And then the question arises, are you the tortoise or the hare?  Well I am both.  Or at least in my life I have been both.

Most of my life I was the hare.  I flew through my days, zip, zam, zowie and swoosh!  Always zooming, always racing, always flying trying to fit 48 hours worth of gotta-do's into a 24 hour period of time.   That expectation requires not just multi-tasking but a lot of fast moving.  There was a time when I worked in the Oncology department of a hospital. Even though I had an official desk, I never sat at it. I was on my feet and moving all day long.   One of the doctors once teased me about my "speed walking".  It's unsafe to run through a hospital corridor (though I've done it) so I found myself walking as fast as possible which ultimately is just shy of running.

As a mom with three kids I was, as all moms are, on the go at all times, trying to be all things to all people.  As an employee I was the one who always came in early, stayed late and worked through lunch attempting to do 3 people's work.  As a wife, daughter, sister, friends, I attempted to show up for people, to be there for them, all of them, all of the time, even when it was simply impossible.  I suspect that we all feel the same way. Every day was a blur.

Is it any wonder that the first 70 years of my life feel as if they have flown by?  That time is moving way too fast?  In years past, I never felt as if I had the time to really slow down and enjoy each moment.  It was always something I was going to get to ........  someday.  Zooooom and it's gone, never to return.  It's not like there are any do-overs. There is just this one life. As far as I know, that's all we get.

Well that was my hare phase.  It served me well.  But now I have entered my tortoise era. I don't move as fast.  I don't' try to crowd as much into every day. I generally try to do only one thing at a time instead of 12.  And I must say that while I am enjoying it, it doesn't seem like the world around me appreciates me enjoying it very much.

Frankly, it's taken me quite some time to adapt to it too, so I guess I understand.  I hear little comments tho, not very nice ones.  Not just to me, understand, but to other people like me who aren't moving so fast these days.  "Get out of the way, Granny",  "If you aren't going to move it, park it and put a fence around it"  "God, you are so slow, it's driving me crazy."   "This is taking forever, I don't have time for this!"  and the worst one I heard was, "I wish I hadn't brought you along, you are so worthless"  

Wow, that was really mean!  

Sometimes it's not the words, it's the huff and the facial expression.  The roll of the eyes as someone has to walk around me; the big sigh as they have to wait an extra 5 seconds for me in a line;  the impatient foot tap (hands on hip or arms crossed) as I make my way out of their way are just as clear a message as the mean words.

So here I am today, as a Public Service, to explain why us tortoises are as slow as we are.

On reason, is because we no longer have to rush. I'm retired!  I do not have to complete 16 hours of work in 8 hours any more.  I can take my time. I can relax.  I can take breaks during any task whenever I please, as long as I please.  I can give more thought to each decision. I can and therefore I do.  It's absolutely lovely to have that freedom. I try to be courteous to those around me.  I have my thoughts collected and I am concise and clear about my questions or needs when I approach a desk, be it doctor office, DMV or check out line.  I already have my debit card in one hand and whatever else is required in the other. I'm not rooting through my purse zero hour and wondering if I have my wallet with me.   But I'm also not racing through the transaction.  I take the time to smile and be pleasant as I go.  

Some people in the line behind me have no time for me being pleasant!  Be pleasant on your own time, they seem to say, I have things to do!  sigh.

Another reason is because we making it a point, at long last in our lives, to smell the roses as they say, to live in the moment, to notice the world around us.  And those sorts of things absolutely force you to slow down.  But if I'm having and nice leisurely walk and living in the moment and smelling roses along the way, the person behind me is often so irritated they cannot help but remark on how very slow I am.  " I apologize, I am so very sorry", I say as I move over the half inch left on the sidewalk and they give me a dirty look as they plow right down the center of the pavement, huffing all the while.  sigh.

I think I personally move a little slow because I just do not have the energy level that I used to.  I will get wherever I need to be, just I need to conserve the energy I do have. I find that if I pick a pace that is comfortable for me and stick to it, I can walk for hours.  But if I try to walk too fast or trot a bit, I wear out far more quickly.  I don't know if it's an age thing or a Sam thing, but it's a true thing.  And that slower pace has some people literally shoving past me, muttering under their breathe about how useless old people are.  I may not be as tiny as I once was, but I'm also not the size of a mac truck.  There is room to go around me without snarky remarks.  Just go around.  I find this happening most often on the bike/hike trails and mostly by bicyclers. This is not an accusation, it's just a statement of fact.  sigh.

The last reason I can think of that I move slower than I used to is fear of falling.  I break now. I don't bounce like I used to.    I want to be certain that I'm not going to slip, trip or stumble.  I find that I tend to look down more, on the lookout for large sidewalk cracks, errant tree roots or other obstacles such as children and dog leashes.  Not joking about the leashes. Those retractable leashes can be a menace.  How often have I seen someone walking their dog on the sidewalk, the owner of the dog on one side of the sidewalk and the dog sniffing shrubbery on the other side with the oh so very trippable leash line between them. Not good. sigh.

Yeah, I know there are folks my age and older that are still running marathons or corporations but most of us older people are not.  Most of us have finally (it took me almost 9 years!) embraced a slightly slower pace of life and are enjoying it.

And to those of you who sneer and roll your eyes and huff and puff at us, the ones who say mean and unnecessary things, I have a few thought for you.

One day, this too will be you.  Keep that in mind.  If you are lucky enough and healthy enough to reach your august years, you too will, most likely, also slow down a bit.  And also, yes we do walk a little more slowly and carefully but it's not because we want to annoy you.  Usually it's because we are aware that we are a bit more fragile than we used to be.  And that doesn't mean we have no value any longer and should be discarded like an archaic piece of technology or electronics that is more costly to repair than to replace.

Instead it means that we are more valuable than ever.  Think Fabergé Egg rather than boiled egg, fine crystal instead of a plastic tumbler.  As the last generation to be able to read and write cursive, which at this point has become a dead language, the final group to be able do math in our heads and read analog clocks, body language and facial expressions, I can only say, we should be declared a protected species and appreciated as opposed to deprecated.

Just my thoughts.