December 31st, 2024

Well this is it, my friends. The very last day of 2024.  As is every year, it was a journey and what a long, strange trip it's been as the Grateful Dead observed.

Like lot of folks, I kind of take stock as a year winds to a close. I make it a point to step back a bit and do an overview of the past 365 days. What were the wins?  The losses?  The highs and lows?  What did I accomplish? What changes do I need to make?  What could I have done or said that I didn't?  What did I do or say that I wish I hadn't?

Like everyone else, I have remarkably little control as I navigate my way through it all.  Life just happens.  It's how we deal with what happens that defines who we are. So those are the things I try to focus on.  Was I the best version of myself in that moment?  

I guess I see it as an opportunity to take an honest evaluation of myself and give myself a bit of a fine tuning, an attitude adjustment here and there.  How can I improve?  Not as a resolution. I don't do that.  That's just setting myself up to fail and frankly, I don't need that.  But more as setting small goals for myself, ways to be a better version of myself. And a brand spankin' new year, fresh out of the box, is a terrific time to make yet another, new start.

You don't see the difference between a resolution and a more of a fine tuning?  Well the way I   see it,  most resolutions are declarations. I like the positive attitude, I do.  It's strong and it's intentional and bold!  "I will lose 10 lbs", "I will go to the gym every morning", "I will give up sugar", "I will read a book a week". Well that last one I can probably do with no problem, but I know me.  And I know that however well intended, I know the rest aren't going to happen. Or at least they aren't going to happen for very long.  and then I will have failed and failed publicly which is somehow worse.  It's not bad enough that I know I failed, but now everybody knows.  Dang.

I suppose the folks who do that, make such fearless statements are hoping that their conviction is enough and perhaps the public nature of such declarations will help their surrounding community keep them on course.   Good luck to them.  I am impressed by their audaciousness, truly.   But facts are facts and the fact is that studies indicate that only 9% of people who make New Years Resolutions actually keep them.    Big Yay to that paltry 9% (assuming they didn't lie of course) but it's about what I expected. 

My little tiny goals are gentler, more forgiving and easier to keep.  Things like, I will try to eat better, I will make a sincere attempt to exercise more, I will truly make the effort to listen more and talk less. Things of that nature.   And it seems to work for me.  It's like a little Jiminy Cricket on my shoulder reminding me when I reach for that cookie, "Seriously, Sam, a 3rd cookie?"  And I at least consider not eating it.  Sometimes I go ahead and eat it anyway, other times I don't.  But it's the fact that now and again I actually don't. that encourages me.

I can sit back and smugly tell myself, "Look at you, resisting a cookie...awesome job!"  And I feel pretty good about myself in that moment.  The truth is that the next time I might continue to resist successfully and I might not but in that one moment, I succeeded and that in itself is a win.  A small one, granted, but a win nonetheless.  and couldn't we all use more of those!

Or, far more importantly, if I have a moment where I am very strong in the face of adversity, which is not my nature at all, I am so proud of myself.  When I have the courage of my convictions, when I politely and quietly stand strong regardless of who is telling me that I am wrong, I feel so good about myself. No screaming confrontation necessary, thank you. Just a quiet conviction.

For me it's not so much the big stuff in my life but the small moments, like, for example,  if I manage to shut the heck up and let someone else talk while I actively listen, I am so pleased.  Pleased that I was able to provide my friend that space to vent safely, pleased that my friend felt better afterwards, and pleased that I succeeded in doing what I hoped I would do.  Yay me!  There very likely will be other situations where I could have done a better job of it and didn't and shame on me for that.  I know I need to do better, try harder.  

2024 was a crazy year. There were some wonderful moments of great joy and terribly tragic moments of unbelievable sadness.   There were times of great ordinariness and scary battles with Mother Nature showing us her worst.  Yet here we are, still standing.   I hope I was my best self through all of them, but I know that I can always do better.

And that's my plan for 2025.  Same as every year. That I keep trying to be a better version of myself.  

Let's all hope that no matter what 2025 has in store for us all, we come through it stronger, smarter and kinder.  Let's vow to not let the bad times change us into people that we don't want to be and the good times keep making us better than we are.

Happy New Year Wishes to you all!

Hugs all 'round