December 15th, 2017

Despite photographic evidence to the contrary (teehee) I am no angel.  I mean, I try to be good. I really sincerely to try.  I just don't always succeed.

​Since I was a little girl, each night before I fall asleep I kind of mentally review my day.  I feel grateful for everything positive and I make note of the things I could do better.  And every night, I vow that tomorrow, I will try harder.  And I mean it sincerely when I say it.

​And still, after all these years, I am not yet the person I would like to be.  I need to be more patient. I need to be more disciplined.  I need to listen more than speak.  I need to be more thoughtful, more considerate, more generous.  And I will continue to work on this massive Sam-project as my life moves forward.

​But I still will not make any New Year's resolutions.  As we near the end of 2017, I know that I'm supposed to start thinking about that list.  But I refuse to do it.  While I am quite aware of my failings, thank you, and I know that I am an eternal work in progress, I stubbornly will not obey an arbitrarily chosen date to deadline myself to a certain behavior.  That smacks of futility.  I do not want to start a brand new year listing my numerous flaws, promising to once and for all be done with all of them and then immediately lose that battle.  Too Depressing for words.

​Rather, I would like to focus on positives.  

​I try very hard to be kind.  And I will try even harder in this new year.  I try very hard to eat goodies in moderation.  And I will work on that even more in 2018.  I exercise at least a little bit every day.  Next year, I will try to increase that bit a little more.  

Kind of like that.

​Realistic expectations is the secret to happiness.  I think being happy should be at the top of everyone's goal list for every year.

I am no angel.  But I'm trying very hard to be the best human I can be.  Next year, I will try a little bit harder.