August 31st, 2022

Last week, instead of doing another photo safari, Joy and I walked the avenue.  We mostly window shopped but we did pick up a few things that she needed and some stores are just so enticing you have to go inside and admire their wares.  

Venice Avenue or "the avenue" is one of two truly wonderful and charming retail streets in our town.  Venice is one, the other is Miami.  Yeah, named after the Florida cities.  Not especially imaginative but I wasn't in charge so there it is.    No matter the names, they provide delightful  restaurants and shops that are small and unique and, for me, perfect for gift shopping mostly.  I almost never buy anything for us or our home there.  

It was a gloomy, muggy, misery of a day with rain threatening at every turn, which is why we didn't attempt another mini-hike.  Still, I suppose, we were walking up and down the streets so that should count as exercise, right?  Joy and I both had our umbrellas at hand, just in case, but we tried to not think about the weather and just enjoy ourselves. And so we did.

Now I am one of those people who can admire something greatly and them move on.  I can talk about how pretty or clever or well-made a thing is, put it back on the shelf  or rack and continue on never giving it another thought.  I walk the avenue fairly often and love checking out the window displays and even, when they on occasion exist, thumbing through the sale racks out in front of the stores.  I just enjoy looking at pretty things.  Looking being the key word.

Usually.

This particular day, even though we saw so very many things, as usual, I was looking just to look, enjoying the stroll, sort of like walking through an art museum, admiring pretty things. When we paused in front of one of the stores that had a sale rack and I happened across this particular blouse.  (photo at the top of the page).  It may not be your cuppa tea but it is absolutely mine.  I loved the  fabric (sooooo soft), the loose-ness of it, the colours, the "patchwork" sort of style and I loved the sleeves.  I did something I almost never do. I picked it up off the rack and looked at it closer.  I checked out the seams and I admired the craftmanship.  I noticed that there are gathers at the cuff of the sleeve and that the back is a longer than the front.  I wondered if the v-neck was too low for me or if it were too long for my short self. And then, with firm determination,  I put it back on the rack.

Meanwhile, Joy was furtively watching me out of the corner of her eye.  She knew this was unusual for me.  She pretendly admired a pair of wide legged gauzy fabric pants so that I could continue to admire the blouse without feeling rushed to continue.    Then I did something I do not often do, I took the blouse back off the rack.  I held it up to the front of me to me to see how long it was and I looked at my reflection in the  window glass of  the store front.

"That really looks like you" Joy said to me.  I nodded.  "It's perfect for you" she continued.  I nodded again.  Then I looked at the price tag, sighed, hung it back up and said, "Nope, can't do it".  Even on sale it cost more than I would normally spend on one item of clothing. (I'm pretty frugal as you may recall)  Never one to be too pushy, Joy said nothing more about it and we continued on down the avenue.  Normally that is enough.  Usually just walking away from it would be enough to put it out of my mind. But for some reason this time, it was now stuck in my head.

"Very Odd", I said to myself.  "Why am I still thinking about that stupid blouse?"  It was a little annoying really.  I continued thinking  about it for a week to my aggravation.  Then I realized that  I should have at least tried it on. Then I would know that it's either not my size, not my style, not my age or something else that would have proved to me that walking away was the right decision. At last I was resolved.  That's what I needed to do to exorcise the blouse from my stupid head.  I made up my mind that one day this week, I would do exactly that.  If the blouse was still on the rack in front of that store, I would go over, try it on, it would look dumb on me and I would hang it back up and never think about it again!  If it wasn't on the rack, even better.

So yesterday, since it was yet another do not dare hike becoz of the grey and threatening skies day, instead Joy and I ran a few errands, mostly off island.   I mentioned my thought about the blouse to Joy and she was totally on board.  At the end of our errands, we came back  on island, parked the car and walked to the store in question.  The rack was still in front.  The blouse was still on the rack.  I wasn't sure, was that a good thing or a bad thing?   I picked it up again and asked myself,  "do I still feel the same way about it?"  Dang it, yes I did.

The we heard a familiar voice greeting us. A lot of shop people on the avenue have kind of gotten to know us over the years, or at least recognize us and feel comfortable enough chatting, outside of their place of business when we cross paths.  This was a lady who works at a shoe store that we frequent.  She happened to be walking down the street when she saw us.  She saw the blouse I was holding and gasped.  She had been admiring it as well.  I offered it to her, she laughed and declined, it was not her size.  She and Joy together urged me to try it on.

I agreed, let's get this over with.  I will put it on and laugh at myself,  show everybody (Joy, the shoe shop lady, the shop lady for the store we were in and every customer in there),  we can all have a good giggle, and then I can hang it back up, walk away, and I'll be done with it.

It was a great plan, except, I liked it.  I liked it a lot.  Dang it all.

I stepped out of the change room to oooo's and aahhh's and words of encouragement.  Ratz.   This was not the plan at all!  

I went back into the dressing room and put my own real top back on and gave it all a minutes thought.  How do I justify this?  I ended up with: this is my reward to myself for getting this far through this particular, rather unpleasant, chapter in my life and doing it pretty darned well.  Yeah, that works.

​  Honestly, it wasn't that expensive,  $36 with tax, but becoz I'm such a cheapo, it's still more than I would normally spend.  I get a little panicky when I spend money so I could feel my heart rate go up immediately at the thought of buying something I don't actually need. I have blouses, I have tops of all sorts. This is not a requirement.  I went back and forth and back and forth.  

Finally, I made my decision.

I am so tickled with my new blouse! I love it, love it, love it!

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