August 23rd, 2018

Not long ago I saw another of those groups of photographs entitled, "You had one job to do..." and of course I read it and giggled a lot.  I'm sure you have seen them.  It's photos of real life situations similar to the above photo.  Things like:  "School Zone" written carefully but completely misspelled in the roadway, or signs reading "Plan Ahead" but the last 3 letters are crammed into a corner because the writer, didn't.  Because I'm easily amused, I love those lists.

Perhaps it's funniest when we are the perpetrator?   How many times have I searched the pantry in vain for the peanut butter and when I cannot find it, assume that we are just out, add it to the grocery list and move on with my day only to later find it on a shelf in the refrigerator?  What was I thinking? It doens't hurt the peanut butter, but I defy you to spread it easily on a cracker straight from the fridge!  Or the time I was helping Tim move something heavy and awkward.  He said, " Ok we are going to step to your left"  I immediately stepped to my right.   Very patiently Tim continued, "Your military left, Sam" and I then stepped to the left.   It probably shouldn't, but those moments set me off into  paroxysms of laughter.

Or maybe it's funnier when it's someone else's error?  I recall a time in college when my roommate, a perfectly lovely and intelligent girl woke me from a sound sleep in near hysteria because the toy  her beau had given her the night before was missing.  Between wrenching sobs she explained that the night before, her new boyfriend had given her a small stuffed kangaroo.  A milestone, that very first gift so quite important to her especially given that she was absolutely smitten with this fellow.  Apparantly, she had returned to our room, very late and decided to balance the little kangaroo at the top of the mirror over our shared dresser and now it was gone.   

Shaking sleep away and knuckling the sandman's leftover sand from my eyes I told her to calm down.  As she continued to fret I assessed the situation.  I looked at the mirror, absent one toy kangaroo, looked at the top of the dresser, also sans Australian critter, I next looked underneath the dresser. Yup there it was.  While she wept and carried on, I wrestled the dresser away from the wall and rescued the toy........Girraffe.  Not a kangaroo.  I sighed and picked up the giraffe and carried it over to her.  "Kangaroo?  Really?  Kangaroo?"    I am not certain why correctly identifying the toy was so important to me.  It's not like there was an entire zoo's worth of stuffed toys in our room afterall.  I laughed about that for days.

There is one on our local TV lately that cracks Tim up every single time.  It's a lawyer trying to get enough people together for a class action lawsuit.  The commercial starts off with bold red words running across the white background and a booming voice informing us all that, "If you or a loved one were killed in an airbag involved accident  call this number..."  Wait.  What?  You are saying that if I was killed in an airbag accident I should call you?  Heaven has cell  phones?  And litigation?

Tim and I experienced another one over the weekend.  We went to look at some new model homes. Why?  Because it's entertainment for us.  Never mind that.  The point is that there we were viewing some lovely homes.  We were rather impressed with the models, the eye to detail and the quality of the work done.  This was a builder we hadn't seen before so we were going slowly and enjoying the process until.....

In the last model, there we are in the master bathroom which was beautifully appointed.  Everyone was so stunning that it was nearly like artwork.  But then when I turned to admire the big beautiful shower, I stopped.

Have you ever looked at something and you know it's wrong, but you aren't quite certain why it's wrong?  That was me.  Silently starring at the shower trying to figure it out what was wrong with what I was seeing.  As soon as Tim stepped into the room he saw it, of course because his mind moves at about 5 zillion miles an hour.

In this spacious and gorgeous high-end shower,  the shower head was placed directly above a large, stunningly beautiful tiled built-in bench.  I'll say that again, the large, stationary shower head was directly above the bench.  The only way anyone in that bathroom was going to be able to shower would be to sit or stand on that bench.  We tried to not laugh but nearly exploded before walking back out the door.  How do they not realize that is wrong?

Things like that happen during construction, though.  When we were building our house in Colorado, there were a few situations.  We visited the house fairly regularly during the process, which was so exciting.  But occasionally, the day after our visit we found ourselves calling the builder to ask a few questions.  Like the time:

That I visited a few days after the cabinets went into the master bathroom.  I was very surprised, upon opening the linen cabinet, to find an electrical outlet carefully afixed to the interior wall. Of the INSIDE of the linen cabinet.  It was another of those moments that I stood their starring at it for a few minutes trying to determine why it was wrong. When we called the builder the next day for short list of questions, they very accommodatingly put us on speaker phone as there were various tradespeople available to answer our questions.  When I asked them if they had a particular reason that they put an outlet inside the linen cabinet there was silence on the other end of the call.  It was a long silence.  Finally, a hesitant voice spoke up, "coffee machine?" he suggested.  Sorry no.  I don't keep my coffee machine next to my bath towels.  Do you?

Oh!  And then there was the kitchen thing.  It was a lovely large U-Shaped kitchen with loads of cabinets and a gigantic island.  When we saw that the island had arrived, I was beside myself with joy.  At first.  As I circumnavigated the island repeatedly I realized that it wasn't centered in the room.  It just seemed awfully close to where the stove would eventually be.  When I questioned the builders about it though I was quickly shut down.  "It is built exactly to spec" I was informed brusquely.  "Honest guys, I don't think it's in the right place," I pressed.  "Trust us" I was told with great authority.  Then the day came that the appliances finally arrived. Hurrah! Another big step forward. I couldn't wait to get in there.  And then I tried to open the oven door.  I say "tried" because it hit smack against the island which, as you recall, they were POSITIVE was in the correct spot.  Nopenopenope.  Hillarious!  I was laughing so hard when I called them that time that I could barely get the words out. 

Well I am already having a Murphy Day today, so I am fully prepared for a lot more of that stuff going on.  Luckily for me I have such a warped sense of humour than instead of getting mad, I will just be giggling all day long.  Good thing I wear waterproof mascara!

Have a wonderful day filled with loads of laughter!