August 03rd, 2020

I think it's fair to say, at least most of the time,  that I am a person of average intelligence, right?  I am educated.  I read. I know when to "Pull" a door open or "Push" a door open.  I am not only capable of learning new things, I delight in it.  So I think we can all agree that I can think of myself as being reasonably intelligent.  With the exception of math.  If it's math, then no. But otherwise I'm good.

But every once in a while, there are brief, beautiful moments, when I have a flash of inspiration, a spark of genius, a few surprising seconds where I am so very clever that I can barely believe I am the one who originated the thought.

This is about one of those times.  Ok that is the background.  Here is the story.

I am short.  We all already know that.  And most of my shortness is my torso.  For a short girl I have long legs. But from hip to shoulder I am disproportionately short. I look, basically, like a box on sticks.  Which means, for the purpose of this particular story, that vee-shaped necklines and scoop necked shirts and square necks are hazardous.  All of them always dip too low and I find myself either constantly pulling them up throughout the day or showing off far more decolletage than I ever intended.  

I find myself wearing a camisole or tank top under most  of them.  Sometimes it looks kind of cute, sometimes it looks kind of stupid.  And in the summer it's one more layer of clothing which means a little hotter and a little sweatier.  And one more article of clothing to wash.  But there are limited options here.  I can constantly be pulling it back up. I can wear the extra layer underneath and be too hot.   Or I can go ahead and let the neckline droop

I think when I was younger, it probably didn't bother me as much.  I was young and everything was still perky and my skin was smooth and supple.   Somehow a small bit of cleavage or a peep of lingerie in someone youthful is just fashionable and fun.  But at my age, not so much.  Nobody wants to see that.  Especially not me.

I hate having to constantly be fussing with my clothes just as much as I dislike having the necklines too low.  But neither do I like clothes that fit really tight to my neck.  First of all they are not flattering on me at all.  Crew necks highlight the boxiness of my torso.  Turtle necks don't just look bad, but I feel as if I am choking.  Higher vee's and squares and rounds are very hard to find. Which leaves me where I started.

I assumed I would just spend the remainder of my life doing what I've been doing which is constantly "fixing" my shirt though the day.  

But when I got dressed the other day, first I put on my grey shorts and then I  just grabbed the first short-sleeved shirt at hand which happens to be a vee-neck.  I looked in the mirror and sighed knowing what I'd be doing all day long..fuss, fuss, fuss.  And then I looked at the back view of myself in the mirror and said, outloud mind you, "Too bad the front isn't as high as the back eh?"

And that's when it struck me.  Why don't I just turn the damned shirt around?  And so I did.

Not too bad. 

Come on, if you didn't know that this was the back of the shirt, would you know it?  Would you automatically think, "Hey that lady has her shirt on backwards?"

And it felt just fine too.  Because my neck isn't enclosed in a turtle neck, I don't have that choking feeling.  And maybe it's the drape of the rest of the shirt that makes it not feel so boxy as a regular crew neck.

​Actually my favourite part is the back.  I adore all those little buttons down the back.

Genius!  

I didn't have to adjust my shirt all day long.  It sat perfectly comfortably, totally fine just exactly the way it was.    I actually wore this out in public.  I ran errands.  I went to the grocery store.  I took a walk.  Not one person starred or looked askance at me.  I didn't hear any furtive whispering.  Nor was anyone bold enough to just walk up and tell me that my shirt was on backwards.  

Let's face it. Women's fashions are so quirky (and occasionally bizarre) that who is to say what's right and what's wrong?   If it wasn't for the tag in the back,  there are times when I'm not absolutely certain which is the front or the back on some clothes.

I know it won't work for all shirts.  Some shirts have darts or pockets or stitching or a design that makes the front unmistakably the front.  But for the shirts it absolutely will work on, I think I have stumbled on to something here.  Houston, we have a solution!  Hurrah!

Genius.  The stupid part is how dang long it took me to think of it.

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