Well this is it, my friends. The very last day of 2024.  As is every year, it was a journey and what a long, strange trip it's been as the Grateful Dead observed.

Like lot of folks, I kind of take stock as a year winds to a close. I make it a point to step back a bit and do an overview of the past 365 days. What were the wins?  The losses?  The highs and lows?  What did I accomplish? What changes do I need to make?  What could I have done or said that I didn't?  What did I do or say that I wish I hadn't?

Like everyone else, I have remarkably little control as I navigate my way through it all.  Life just happens.  It's how we deal with what happens that defines who we are. So those are the things I try to focus on.  Was I the best version of myself in that moment?  

I guess I see it as an opportunity to take an honest evaluation of myself and give myself a bit of a fine tuning, an attitude adjustment here and there.  How can I improve?  Not as a resolution. I don't do that.  That's just setting myself up to fail and frankly, I don't need that.  But more as setting small goals for myself, ways to be a better version of myself. And a brand spankin' new year, fresh out of the box, is a terrific time to make yet another, new start.

You don't see the difference between a resolution and a more of a fine tuning?  Well the way I   see it,  most resolutions are declarations. I like the positive attitude, I do.  It's strong and it's intentional and bold!  "I will lose 10 lbs", "I will go to the gym every morning", "I will give up sugar", "I will read a book a week". Well that last one I can probably do with no problem, but I know me.  And I know that however well intended, I know the rest aren't going to happen. Or at least they aren't going to happen for very long.  and then I will have failed and failed publicly which is somehow worse.  It's not bad enough that I know I failed, but now everybody knows.  Dang.

I suppose the folks who do that, make such fearless statements are hoping that their conviction is enough and perhaps the public nature of such declarations will help their surrounding community keep them on course.   Good luck to them.  I am impressed by their audaciousness, truly.   But facts are facts and the fact is that studies indicate that only 9% of people who make New Years Resolutions actually keep them.    Big Yay to that paltry 9% (assuming they didn't lie of course) but it's about what I expected. 

My little tiny goals are gentler, more forgiving and easier to keep.  Things like, I will try to eat better, I will make a sincere attempt to exercise more, I will truly make the effort to listen more and talk less. Things of that nature.   And it seems to work for me.  It's like a little Jiminy Cricket on my shoulder reminding me when I reach for that cookie, "Seriously, Sam, a 3rd cookie?"  And I at least consider not eating it.  Sometimes I go ahead and eat it anyway, other times I don't.  But it's the fact that now and again I actually don't. that encourages me.

I can sit back and smugly tell myself, "Look at you, resisting a cookie...awesome job!"  And I feel pretty good about myself in that moment.  The truth is that the next time I might continue to resist successfully and I might not but in that one moment, I succeeded and that in itself is a win.  A small one, granted, but a win nonetheless.  and couldn't we all use more of those!

Or, far more importantly, if I have a moment where I am very strong in the face of adversity, which is not my nature at all, I am so proud of myself.  When I have the courage of my convictions, when I politely and quietly stand strong regardless of who is telling me that I am wrong, I feel so good about myself. No screaming confrontation necessary, thank you. Just a quiet conviction.

For me it's not so much the big stuff in my life but the small moments, like, for example,  if I manage to shut the heck up and let someone else talk while I actively listen, I am so pleased.  Pleased that I was able to provide my friend that space to vent safely, pleased that my friend felt better afterwards, and pleased that I succeeded in doing what I hoped I would do.  Yay me!  There very likely will be other situations where I could have done a better job of it and didn't and shame on me for that.  I know I need to do better, try harder.  

2024 was a crazy year. There were some wonderful moments of great joy and terribly tragic moments of unbelievable sadness.   There were times of great ordinariness and scary battles with Mother Nature showing us her worst.  Yet here we are, still standing.   I hope I was my best self through all of them, but I know that I can always do better.

And that's my plan for 2025.  Same as every year. That I keep trying to be a better version of myself.  

Let's all hope that no matter what 2025 has in store for us all, we come through it stronger, smarter and kinder.  Let's vow to not let the bad times change us into people that we don't want to be and the good times keep making us better than we are.

Happy New Year Wishes to you all!

Hugs all 'round

December 18th, historically, was a busy day, an important day!  I suppose that at least one noteworthy things happens on every day of every year, but today we are specifically discussing outstanding events on one particular day.  Here are just a few of the most significant things that happened on various December 18ths .   For example:

In 1620 the Mayflower docked in Plymouth Harbour for the first time

1777  saw the first National Thanksgiving

1799 was the date that our first president, George Washing died at Mt Vernon

In 1966 we saw the first successful deployment of the rover Sojourner on planet Mars!

And of course in 1994, Tim and Sam got married

And then, in 2024, this year, Joy and Bob got married too

Wait, What?  Joy and Bob got married??

SURPRISE!

  How cool is that?? 

After 30 odd years of adventures together, they decided to have yet another adventure and tied the knot, officially.  

It was an absolutely lovely wedding too.  They married at the charming St Francis Inn in historic St Augustine on a perfectly gorgeous day in front of the Christmas Tree in the parlour.  Mary, a wonderful woman who works at the St Francis, was the officiant and the witnesses were Tim and I and Joy's younger daughter, Stacy and her hubby, Shane.  (and Joy's eldest daughter, Carrie, via FaceTime).

The girls all sparkled and the gentlemen looked snazzy.  Spirits were high, the decor very seasonal. The vows were both simple and sincere.

Afterwards we took some photos and were offered cake and champagne to celebrate!   The cake by the way was excellent, days later, I was still raving about the frosting. ​

It was perfection.

​I'll share a few photos from the Happy Day!

 A little side story, I asked Joy what she would like us to wear to her wedding and she said, "well be comfortable but dress up a bit and try to be christmassy". So I wandered through my closet and was dismayed to learn that I own nothing 'christmassy' and actually very little dressyuppy anymore as there are just not a lot of dressy uppy occasions in my life these days.

I had half decided to wear a pair of black slacks that I often wear to the museum and a nice blouse. Afterall, a wedding day is about the bride and groom, not the guests so it really didn't  matter so much what I chose to wear.

But when Joy asked what I had decided to wear, I, jokingly, told her that the most Christmassy thing I owned was a pair of Christmas PJ's.  She laughed and said she was fine with us wearing those.  LOLOL  Ultimately, she loaned me one of her own dresses, which was red and sparkly and looked a wee bit like a Christmas tree. It was super comfortable (which came in especially handy for the long drive to St Augustine) and that was exactly what I wore.​

'Tis four days before Christmas
and I've just realized
The Christmas chores are done
I can't believe my eyes!

No more shopping or writing 
or wrapping to be done
No more crowds, no more worries
it's time now for fun

I'm not sure how it happened
at all, I confess
Perhaps Christmas Magic at work
as a guess

So now is the part
where we get to sit back
relax and enjoy
knowing the fact

that the rushing is over
the lists and the chores
that precedes each Christmas
as it shall evermore

I love every moment of Christmas
to be fair
That fact that it gets frantic
is neither here nor there

We are now at the point
of this Christmas time
and in fact the reason
for this silly rhyme

To quote the best
as is good and is right
"Merry Christmas to all
And to all A Good Night"


PS Get ready for a really exciting and fun post Next Week before Christmas!!

Oh My Goodness!  Just two weeks from today is Christmas Day!  That's only 13 tiny little days to get done, everything that needs to be done before Santa Arrives.  Wow!  I don't know about you, but I confess to being a little panicked!  Will everything be ready in time?  It'll be a nail biter for sure and come down to the last seconds most likely.

I'm not sure why either.  Yes yes, there was one less week this year between Thanksgiving and Christmas and that's probably part of it, but only a small part.  I know people who are so organized and on top of things that they have their shopping DONE by end of summer.  Holy Cats!  I'm not that person.  Which is odd I suppose, because, for the most part, I am a very organized person and I do love a good plan.

But with Christmas, I cannot even begin thinking getting ready for  Christmas  until the holiday spirit and mood are upon me.  And sometimes - like maybe this year - the spirit is somewhere else.  I'm not sure where it landed but I hope whoever that person is, they are enjoying it coz I'm just not feeling it. 

I'm trying, though, I swear, I'm trying.  I've been ho ho ho-ing and singing Christmas carols.  The tree is up and other decorations are sprinkled here and there.  I faithfully open my Advent Calendars one door a day and the shopping is in process.  Just a few little odds and ends and it will be finished.  And that will be a relief.  One big to-do scratched off the list!

Shopping was rough this year.  First of all everything cost so much!  Even tiny little silly things had prices jacked to high heaven.  We have a Christmas Budget. I suppose everyone does.  And it's even a Per Person budget.  We stick to our budget because that's just the sort of people we are. 2024 was an unexpectedly expensive year so the budget was tighter and even more  important than usual.  At the same time, nobody wants to be known as the Christmas Pooper.  That one person who gave the crappiest gifts.  Nobody wants that award.  I know we don't.

And that was the second thing.  Most of the time I start out shopping with ideas for everybody on my list. Even if it isn't a specific item, it's a general idea that is a great place to start.  This year I had no ideas. None. Not one single thought.  The brainbasket was empty. Highly unusual.  So I had to wander.  I walked through an endless string of stores and then online, with each people in mind, and hoped like crazy that something - anything - would strike my fancy.  

And then, worse, I boobytrap myself with doubt.  Is it the right choice?  Should I get this?  Will they like it? I second guess and third guess and wander around the store with things in my hand and then put them back and then pick them up again. Oh dear, Oh dear.  Nothing seems right and nothing is ever good enough to express how much I adore these people.  It can be agony to shop with me. And very stressful for everyone; me, the poor long suffering person shopping with me, the people who work in the store and I'm sure anyone in ear shot of me talking about why an idea is/is not the right one.

But soon that part will be done.  And once the gifts are purchased and wrapped and given, then I don't have to stress about buying gifts anymore.  No.  After that I will torture myself with my prediction of their reaction to the gift.  I am merciless when it comes to me. 

Then will come the cards, (not done yet, but it's on the list!) and eventually a little baking. Very little this year, but still, there will be something baked. AND if it comes out good, I will share it.  If it comes out bad you will never know because I'll throw it out and try again.  Gotta have something to share with the neighbors. It's tradition. And that's stupid too because I'm sure they would understand that my hand isn't fully recovered from the injuries incurred from the tumble I took in t he forest and right now, baking is tricky for me.  But I will make myself at least try try try.

So you see, I do it to myself.  Nobody says, "here is the list of things you MUST do". I "should" on myself all day, every day, especially during the holidays and I know it is ridiculous. I'm  probably not alone.  I cannot possibly be the only person on the planet who does this sort of thing.  There are probably legions of us!  All so emotionally exhausted by the seasons end that we want to hibernate like bears for awhile while we heal.

It's kind of crazy really.  So my wish to you is, wherever you are in the holiday preparation process, be kind to yourself.  Try to remember to relax and enjoy the holiday.  The most important things, somehow, magically, will get done.  Anything that didn't get done, probably wasn't all that important.  

So if you are bombarding yourself with Shoulds during these last two weeks before Christmas Remember, Step One, Breathe, Step Ttwo, Breathe again.  And try to enjoy your holiday.

PS Note to self, breathe!!

I was raised to believe in the importance of giving back.   Donating money, absolutely.  Donating food, clothes, books, for sure!  But donating time too.  And that's the element that is most lacking.  Everybody is so very busy, genuinely busy, in their lives that it's hard to carve out time to help out especially on a regular basis.    It's a real thing and I'm not faulting anyone for their lack of time.  Or choosing to do things other than volunteering in what little free time you have available.  I truly do understand and support that.

But for those of us with the time and desire to do so, volunteering is a big part of our lives.   And the organizations where we volunteer our time, energy, talent and abilities are eternally grateful for us.  Many of these organizations simply would not exist without their volunteers. And that would be a terrible shame.

I suppose it's worth nothing that as much good as volunteers do in their community, it makes us feel just as good to help out. To make a difference in other people's lives gives such a sense of purpose!  I'm doing good just by volunteer my time.  Helping you is, essentially, also helping me!

I've been doing volunteer work of one sort of another for a very long time.  At one time I  created an English as a Second Language program for an elementary school, as a volunteer.  I've taught beginner piano, just for the pleasure of introducing children to learning music.    I've tutored, edited and encouraged all levels of all sorts of writers for a very long time now.    

At one time I was a literacy volunteer at the local library.  I worked at a food bank & assistance program and I've worked as a docent at two different museums.  I've loved each of these volunteer positions and, luckily,  they loved what I did for them as well.

But now I'm going to complain a little bit.  I would apologize in advance but I am not sorry about what I am going to say.  In the paragraph above I wrote that I worked at these positions and I'm finding that I get blowback from a lot of different sources over my use of that word.  Worked.

I've heard, 'you cannot work as a volunteer' , 'it's not work if you aren't getting paid',   'you cannot call it work if it's not a real job" and many other things like that.  Apparently the issue is the use of the word work relative to a non-paid position.

Just so you know, I  did look up the definition of the word "work" and here it is:

"activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result"

It says nothing about payment or contracts. It does not differentiate between a "real job" and a  "volunteer job".  So.  Volunteer positions are work.  It's valid.  And I assure you that while I am busy with my volunteering, whatever it may be, I am indeed working.   I take it seriously.  I am giving my all,  I am doing my best.  Sometimes I am hauling, lifting and climbing.  Sometimes I am doing research or answering questions or educating.   Volunteers are absolutely involved in mental and or physical effort to achieve a purpose or results. You betcha!  That's what we do.

In various volunteer positions, I was crunching numbers,  keeping the books straight, attending meetings, representing my organization out in the community and even appearing in TV ads.   I've spent hours on the phone, doing meet and greets, attended conferences,  and created Policies and Procedures.  I've helped to secure countless grants to keep organizations afloat, sat at the bedside of dying people and conducted endless tours.  All as a volunteer.

When I am volunteering, I am working.  Please understand that it is a labour of love but it is still work. The only difference between your work and mine is that I don't get paid for mine and I am not contractually obligated to anything.  That's it.  It's honestly the only difference. 

I'm done being denigrated for calling what I do work.  It is work.   Please do not look down on those of us whose work is volunteerism.  We are hard at our work, just like you.  And our work is important. Just like yours.

end of rant, thank you ;)